tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90366679049222346802024-03-19T06:32:17.467-06:00Father Terry's Spiritual StuffThe homilies and musings of a Paulist Priest.Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.comBlogger4892125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-87187708778573976942024-03-19T03:00:00.003-06:002024-03-19T03:00:00.138-06:00Da Vinci<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Tomorrow I have an appointment with a robot, Da Vinci. The robot will be instructed to fix my hernia that I have had for some time. The surgeon is there but does no cutting or chopping. All is left to Da Vinci, who I hope follows the instructions of my human surgeon. Da Vinci reminds me of a spider who hovers over me, waiting to get to me. Do robots have personality or tend to think for themselves or go out on strike for whatever reason? I just need to trust. I actually did not report the long-standing hernia until my hip hurt so that I could not sleep. In passing, I mentioned the hernia to my doctor and she sent me on for a sonogram. After surgery I won’t be able to do much for a few weeks. I am hoping for treats to assuage any “woe is me” moods. But I know it was a sore hip that got me to have this hernia surgery. The hip will be OK in time, as I now have a physical therapist. Aging is what it is. Pray for me. God is in charge. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-28907311380974616022024-03-18T03:00:00.001-06:002024-03-18T03:00:00.129-06:00St. Patrick’s Day<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Did you wake up with a hangover this morning? Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day. How did you start the day? Did you make a resolution to not drink yesterday? Or did you plan on where and with whom you would drink yesterday? Either way, you have a hangover. It’s a good time to assess the situation. For one, people who can take or leave alcohol generally don’t have a problem with it. They don’t make plans to drink or avoid drinking. So, if you said you were not going to drink, but came up with no alternative, or just blew it off half-way through the day, then you may very well have a problem with alcohol. The pain of a hangover can be a benefit if it pushes you towards trying a different solution, not based upon your inadequate will-power when it comes to alcohol. If you can find your cell phone, look up Alcoholics Anonymous. They have admitted defeat and found a way to avoid hangovers. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-52440616924875510392024-03-17T03:54:00.002-06:002024-03-17T03:54:53.373-06:00Happy St. Patrick’s Day<p> <span style="font-size: large;">I remember the butter cookies with the green sprinkles on top. I remember the muffins with green icing. I remember the Parade up 5th Avenue in New York City, and how Fordham made a big deal of it. Catholic schools had the day off so we could go and celebrate. But since today is a Sunday, we don’t have the St. Patrick’s day mass because the 5th Sunday of Lent takes precedent. I got to write the Pope about this. As we Irish say, “Offer it up.” Let’s celebrate anyway!. Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you all. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-52334784639005744962024-03-17T03:00:00.001-06:002024-03-17T03:00:00.135-06:00The Motive<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Do you want to be a better person or do you just want to look good? In other words, what is the motive behind the motive, as someone suggested to me. So I try to examine my actions more now. Why am I doing this so-called good deed? If I simply want to be noticed in a way that gets compliments, or that makes people like me, then the motive has nothing to do with becoming a better person. If I meditate in silence or solitude, take a nature walk alone, clean up when no one is around to notice, then I am doing it to become a better person. All these good actions are about anonymity. No one notices or gives praise. I am more consistent if I focus on becoming a better person rather than trying to impress you so that you will like me. It used to be easier to be consistently phony, but now it is too much work and drags me down. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-25199392547028966372024-03-16T03:00:00.001-06:002024-03-16T03:00:00.144-06:00Too Alone<p> <span style="font-size: large;">One of the ways that we isolate ourselves from the world around us is to focus exclusively on our problems. We get obsessed. We become all about ourself and people pick up on this while we are with them. They tend to cut us off in some way or other. Maybe they change the subject or just get as obsessed with themselves as we are with ourselves. A room full of misery. I have found that a way out of this self-isolation is to be of service. What can I do to make the scene a better one for someone else. Maybe a listening ear? Maybe a little housekeeping, cleaning up? Get out of oneself to enter the bigger world that always needs a bit of attention. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-25786164935234837742024-03-15T03:00:00.003-06:002024-03-15T03:00:00.130-06:00Dulce Pontes<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Who is Dulce Pontes? If you are from Brazil, you know. She is the Frances Cabrini of Brazil. Talk about a male dominated world of early 20th century USA, the Latino male with their machismo is the worst. And Pontes would not let that stop her. So, say you are a woman who was a drunk, beaten by alcohol, but now you are recovering on a spiritual path. For what purpose? To feel better, no hangovers, to have a job, family, health, are all good things. But these are all under the umbrella of “fitting in.” I suggest that God, my God anyway, made you a woman for a purpose. Fitting in was not the ultimate purpose. You have recovery tools to help move into a deeper life. Recovery is the beginning, not the end. If you have a family, with a daughter, or teach girls in some way, and all they want is to “fit in,” then I suggest, there is lots more work to be done. Just sayin’</span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-85880139485933242252024-03-14T03:00:00.003-06:002024-03-14T03:00:00.208-06:00Who Do We Serve?<p> <span style="font-size: large;">“We can serve our weakness, or we can serve our purpose.” Which will it be? And probably we need to decide it anew each day. This is a quote from the movie, “Cabrini,” at which you will cry by the end. The doctor said that Cabrini would be bedridden for the rest of her life because she almost drowned before being rescued by a hand reaching out and her reaching back to grab it. She would have lung issues the rest of her life. She had her bad moments, but “it will pass.” What would not pass was her indomitable will to serve her purpose. Which was what? Well, go see the movie! And then ask, “What is my purpose,” and how will it make this a better world, and you the best person you were meant to be? </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-42885210885563253862024-03-13T03:00:00.001-06:002024-03-13T03:00:00.143-06:00The Don’t Fit Ins<p> <span style="font-size: large;">What I like about the Paulist Fathers, of which I am still one, is that we do a ministry to people who don’t fit into the rules and regulations. Many a priest give such people the “short shift.” “I cannot help you,” they might say in a nice way, or simply say no. They are trained to follow the rules in a more narrow fashion. That is, if you don’t go to church, or are not even affiliated with the parish, you don’t get much help. This is especially the case with people wanting to get married. We Paulists run marriage prep programs that respond to a lot of these “outsiders.” A notorious drunk, rebellious against God issues, religion and lots of other things, sobers up, falls in love, dimly recalls being baptized Catholic, and comes to ask for a wedding ceremony. They have no idea of the rules or protocol. We specialize in such cases as well as any dropouts. Old St. Mary’s here in San Francisco does a good job of this. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-44417532229915680942024-03-12T03:00:00.001-06:002024-03-12T03:00:00.135-06:00Consistent <p> <span style="font-size: large;">One of the ways that we show love is by being open to the needs of others. I have found that as a priest I do this ‘Professionally” but in a review of my life, some would call this a “Tenth Step” I have found that I have not always been consistent. When I am less noticed, less in my professional clerical role, I can be quite unconcerned about the needs of others. “Not my problem,” or “They got what they deserved.” Whether or not both of these statements are true, love responds positively because love makes me a better person. Being helpful keeps me out of “self” which is a sobering way of living. So, when I feel that non-caring attitude that no one will notice, I am on the way to my own misery. The good and the bad often starts with little things. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-87115152236091590312024-03-11T03:00:00.001-06:002024-03-11T03:00:00.135-06:00Cabrini<p> <span style="font-size: large;">This is one the best movies I have ever seen. It just came out this weekend. It was directed by an amours Italian director and he knows his stuff. Acting, scenery, dialogue, and history are all so well done, so it is not so much a movie about religion as it is about the indomitable spirit of a woman in a man’s world filled with prejudice against the role of women in a world ruled by men in both church and secular New York City politics. Cabrini refused to give in to any physical or political limitations. This year’s Oscars were just announced. This movie will be up for next year in several categories. At the end the mayor says to Cabrini, “You would have made a good man.” She answers, “No. You could not do what we did.” And the voice over ends with the NYT obit, “What kind of world do you want it to be and what are you willing to do to make it so?” </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-18238472929398449492024-03-10T03:00:00.001-06:002024-03-10T03:00:00.193-06:00Depression<p> <span style="font-size: large;">If you have something like clinical depression, what can be learned from this? Acceptance is one thing. Don't beat yourself up for failing to be better, whatever you think better is. And you can learn humility. You are not perfect but that only makes you a human being. Others have issues you do not have, so gratitude can be something learned. And maybe there will be a time when your knowledge about clinical depression might help someone else who is just coming to grips with it, or is suicidal about what seems like a dead end to them. You may be the bearer of hope. We can all work with what we have and what we don't have. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-60865658296284158312024-03-09T03:00:00.001-07:002024-03-09T03:00:00.168-07:00Give And Get<p> <span style="font-size: large;">For many people it seems so much easier to give help than to ask for it. We seem to be able to respond to someone who genuinely needs help which is to our credit. But why do we find it so hard at times to ask for help? Think of asking for help not as a put down to your ego or weakness, or lack of knowledge, but as an opportunity to allow someone else to respond and be of service. By asking for help when you need it, you give someone an opportunity to get out of selfishness and even their own isolation. In this way, you asking might be helping another person. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-22913054288408956542024-03-08T03:00:00.000-07:002024-03-08T03:00:00.134-07:00Double Whammy<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Two things get in the way of becoming who we are supposed to be. One is illusion and the other is conceit. The illusion comes from pretending to be someone we are not. The conceit comes from pursuing this illusion with all our energy. We dress, act, talk as the illusion. We are not fulfilled, yet the ego does not give up simply because we are a bit out of sorts or unaligned with who we really are. A spiritual path of meditation will eventually bring us around to the path we are supposed to be on. Alone, letting go of our false self for a bit each day, in the silence and stillness, allows space for someone else to begin to peak at us. That someone else has been hidden by the double whammy of illusion and conceit. A spiritual power will show you how to be your truer self. Acceptance will come in time. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-42955375445461186192024-03-07T03:00:00.001-07:002024-03-07T03:00:00.151-07:00Coffee And Donuts Pracrice<p><span style="font-size: large;">Why do many Catholics, who go to coffee and donuts after their mass, rarely talk to newcomers, while agnostic-atheist</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Alcoholics seek out newcomers in their meetings? One of the reasons might be that many Catholics seek safety in being part of the right religion. They go to the coffee after mass to see their friends, who don't really challenge them to think beyond their comfort zone. Strangers don't fit in here. In AA the members are taught from early on that they have to reach out to the newcomer. As a Catholic, I was never brought up that way. Religion is private. You do what you do and I do what I do. It is between me and God. No outsiders fit this equation. Newcomers, whether in a church or AA meeting, feel like outsiders when they go into a group setting. The newcomer did not go to the coffee and donuts to talk to God or just have a donut. They are waiting to see if this "community" is open or closed. The AA meeting that does not welcome newcomers is a failure. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-49331706198202792272024-03-06T03:00:00.001-07:002024-03-06T03:00:00.147-07:00Guide For Living<p><span style="font-size: large;">I am not sure I know what a "guide for living" is in its internal workings, but I do know it when I see it. The results are what I can see. I see a person go from fearful to relaxed, from feeling like an outsider, to feeling a part of something, some group. </span> <span style="font-size: large;">I see a person who is always critical, judgmental, resentful, and whining about the state of the world, who then become accepting, helpful, understanding, compassionate and into solutions. I know they have found a "guide for living." I have to be diligent about my guide for living. When I wake up, I have to have gratitude and then ask for some help in specific issues. I don't even get out of bed until I have prayed a bit and brought my guide for living into focus. Though the body may rest in needed sleep, the mind can become forgetful. Assume nothing of yesterday's practice flowing into today. But then, I am a difficult case. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-19965370069608021162024-03-05T03:00:00.004-07:002024-03-05T03:00:00.214-07:00Nineteen Steps<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Bill Waters is the hero in this book. To say more would be to give the plot away. A new author, Millie Bobby Brown, born in 2004, quite young, her first novel, and it is very good. She writes about what she knows, young women coming of age. It is set in WWII, centered on an event in London during the German bombings of the city. I discovered the book in the local library, sitting on a rack of new books. Kate Quinn, an author I like, recommended her on the front cover. It is only 303 pages, so I still did my prayers, mostly. Tough to put down once you get going. For me, Billy Waters stepped up and did the right thing. The right thing is not always easy. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-89868029504496161712024-03-04T03:00:00.001-07:002024-03-04T03:00:00.245-07:00Gossip<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Gossip and talking about people behind their backs can so often give the ego a good buzz. But this can be seen as stumbling off the spiritual path. A good image of this was given to me. It is called “Stumbling over your own tongue.” Whenever I find myself drifting into “innocent” gossip, I recall this phrase of stumbling over my tongue. To stumble is to fall off the path, to cease to move forward in a healthy fashion. Maybe this image of tongue stumbling will help you too, should you find yourself ensnared in gossip. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-40957772226412707492024-03-03T03:00:00.001-07:002024-03-03T03:00:00.243-07:00Outsides<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Addicts and some others tend to look outside themselves to feel better. A drink solves the issue for an alcoholic for instance. Looking for a community or a gym or relationship are other ways to search outside oneself for the solution to feeling badly. I find that the solution is to look on the insides first. This would be the long term ongoing solution. It is a spiritual solution because the bad feelings are most often spiritual issues. They are about our insides not getting proper attention. It really is mystical and no outside solution can touch the mystical. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-76024367779340816372024-03-02T03:00:00.001-07:002024-03-02T03:00:00.310-07:00Hope<p> <span style="font-size: large;">People who are suicidal have no hope. Suicide seems like the last option, the final solution to a life off the rails. But for whatever reason, if the same person seeks outside help, such as a spiritual practice, therapy, steps, recovery program, something seemingly outside themselves, they discover hope. Hope says there is a way out of my misery. I may be clueless as to how the way works, but I grab desperately for it, and that is hope in action. Sometimes hope just shows up. You think you have lost everything and your life is over, not worth going on, and suddenly you have an inspiration that seemed to come out of the blue or from some past trifling experience, and you grasp for it. If your addiction seems fulfilling, you don’t jump into a recovery program, but if someone along the way drops a hint, by word or action, you might put that into your memory bank. Later, desperate, you recall that past seemingly trifling encounter. That recovering person was driven by hope in you. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-67213019647302112602024-03-01T03:00:00.001-07:002024-03-01T03:00:00.129-07:00Reprieve<p> <span style="font-size: large;">I like the phrase, “Daily Reprieve.” Whenever I think I have arrived at some spiritual depth, I must remind myself, first, that this is an ego trip and second, keep doing the daily practice. My ego says, “I have arrived.” I no longer have to do whatever I did to get here. I have come to find this is a disastrous way of thinking. Actually, in this case all thinking is the wrong road. The mind plays tricks, but the heart knows. Listen to the heart. It tells me that I am on shaky ground and must continue to do my daily practice whatever that might be. Insanity is to think I am better than I am. I have but a daily reprieve from insanity. I am having a good day. Continue to practice the spiritual path. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-58035863390465075472024-02-29T03:00:00.001-07:002024-02-29T03:00:00.148-07:00Leap Year!<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Today is an extra day in the year for us all to grow a little bit more, to do another act of kindness, so let’s not blow it. It is the one day of the year where we can cherish the gift of life that we have with whatever makes it such a gift. All other days we seem to take for granted. This Leap Year day comes only once every four years. If you were to have something only once every four years, would you not treat it as special? So make this a special day for yourself and for someone else, especially if they might be in a gloomy mood. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-13947531637497690932024-02-28T03:00:00.001-07:002024-02-28T03:00:00.132-07:00Retirement<span style="font-size: large;">A spiritual practice has no retirement. It is the one job that never ends. Whatever you did or do in order to grow as you have, does not stop with today. You do a spiritual practice one day at a time until you no longer can, like with death. I hear people say, “I have been a Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Moslem for thus and so long. Jews say they are Jews. Recovering addicts give you their time of sobriety. My question: “What are you doing today?” The spiritual path can never be lived yesterday or tomorrow with its good intentions. I try to do something of this path early in the day, lest I fool myself into thinking I will do it “later.” Later often never comes. </span>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-58306068018460598902024-02-27T03:00:00.001-07:002024-02-27T03:00:00.136-07:00Likable You<p> <span style="font-size: large;">People sometimes overindulge in order to present a more likable self. It is a form of fantasy. Drinking and fantasy often go together. We think we are fine, though we are drunk. We think we are popular when people wish we would leave. It can be the same in a spiritual sober practice. Because you see yourself on some guru path, or the right religion, you fantasize that you are complete and attractive, when in fact, you might be a hypocrite and obnoxious. None of this stops with sobriety or a change of spiritual path. We cannot seem, on our own power, to shake the fantasy that we are wonderful now. What to do? Forget about yourself. Don’t worry about popular or being on the one true path. Do your path faithfully, be of some help to others, simply by accepting them in their own shortcomings and imperfections. Give people some of your precious time. Be real. Fantasy is for Hollywood. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-60007818964451708392024-02-26T03:00:00.001-07:002024-02-26T03:00:00.159-07:00The Seed<p><span style="font-size: large;">Look at a seed before you plant it. The seed does not look like much. But looks deceive the power that is within, the unseen power. Now plant the seed in some soil. Water it a bit or let the rain do it for you. Without you seeing what is going on beneath the soil, the seed is at work. It does not need to be noticed. It works best unnoticed. In its own time, the seed may sprout and grow. You can work around it with weeding and maybe water, but the seed does the heavy lifting with the power it has. On the spiritual path and recovery, the heart is like the seed. Given proper care, it will sprout into our truest and best self. Meetings, meditation, service, worship, reading, fellowship are all the weeding and watering. But the power is within. It only asks for a little cooperation. We are born with a “Heart-Seed.” Don’t drown it in booze or ego-centric false self. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9036667904922234680.post-68397082016258251912024-02-25T03:00:00.001-07:002024-02-25T03:00:00.158-07:00The Tiny<p> <span style="font-size: large;">I think God likes tiny and insignificant, at least if some Christians have it right. Many believe that a tiny thin wafer of bread, with no taste, is the Presence of God. If so, then God likes to reveal this Presence in the small, insignificant and fragile. Whereas, in our culture, so many want to reveal themselves in the powerful, significant, and lovely to look at. Ego is pretty obvious. Mystery, not so much. And maybe our desire to be significant in the eyes of others, hides our sense of insignificance. But if God does not mind being small, why should we be beating ourselves up and exhausting ourselves in efforts to be noticed? People shine out on the spiritual path, not from their own efforts, but from God’s light within. Let it shine. Let it shine. </span></p>Fr. Terry Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17609185577969362958noreply@blogger.com1