Walking Alone

 When I was in Boulder, Colorado in the late Spring, Summer and early Fall, the weather was just right for an evening walk down to the Pearl Street Mall.  I would walk alone looking here and there at people, storefronts and foliage.  What I noticed is that rarely was there a woman doing the same thing.  One of the reasons, and many women know this, is that it is simply not safe, or at least not as safe as me walking alone.  There might be a woman going from one place to another, on a mission, shopping, getting something done, performing a task.  But not just meandering along in curiosity about their world around them.  Too many men see women not so much as individuals, persons, as objects to satisfy something in the man.  In such a culture, women are made for men, and not to be themselves.  I ask myself how many girls are taught to find a man than to find themselves.  To be taught to not find yourself is to be taught “non-existence.”  

Sabbath People

Meditation makes me a Holy Saturday person.  Or I have to be a Holy Saturday person each day to allow myself to be drawn into the depth of meditation.  Why?  I need to be in silence, stillness, like one dead, empty of my personal, self-centered agenda with all its character defects.  And I wait for the God who does not seem to be anywhere.  For a Christian like me, this would be Holy Saturday.  God is dead, gone, but wait.  Yes, wait.  In silence and solitude.  Buried in wordless and thoughtless prayer.  At least thoughts of what I want to “get.”  So, while you are all getting ready to celebrate Christmas, keep the balance.  Busy shopping, parties, feasts, family and friend reunions are all very busy.  I will try to remember I am a Holy Saturday person as well.  Keep a balance.  

Liquid Living

The life of an alcoholic is “Liquid Living.”  Their life requires alcohol.  They cannot go long without it so they are liquid living persons.  Maybe they don’t have it everyday, at least in the beginnings, but eventually, should they live long enough, it becomes daily.  You feel sorry for them?  Well, at least they know what they need even if it is killing them.  How about you religious believers who belong to some religion, say Christian.  Baptism says you are a Christian.  But if you can go long periods of time without needing Christian things are you really “Christian Living?”  At least the alcoholic knows what they need and they have a  recovery program, steps, fellowship that can help them to a better life beyond liquid living.  What has the Christian who ignores their Bible, their Big Book, the sacraments for many types of Christians save Christmas and Easter?  Baptism without living like a Christian can be deadly.  It is the same with whatever makes you call yourself a Hindu, Buddhist, Jew, or Muslim.  So many “believers”need recovery programs, but don’t know it and die a sad death, unfulfilled.  And they don’t take their stuff with them.  

Dismal Outlook

 When you are looking ahead and the future seems dismal, it may mean that you are paying too much attention to yourself.  You are not thinking, for instance, of what you could do for others, or how could you improve life around you, or what good can you add to the lives of those you will see today.  Dismal futures are about thinking too much of oneself.  You say, “No, I am thinking of how miserable it is for another person.”  Well, a lot of people are miserable but it does not bother you.  When it does bother you it is about your peace of mind too.  So when you think of a dismal future for you or for others, try to see what you can do to make life more positive.  Visit the sick, or write a letter.  Call on the phone and listen.  Don’t leave a message.  They may not return your call.  Call until you can talk to the person.  Takes a lot of time away from thinking about yourself.  

Bubbles

 Why does a child reach up to grab at a bubble floating around in the air?  Because they think there is something inside.  But when they touch the bubble it bursts and there is nothing left of it.  Nothing inside.  So the child goes for another bubble.  Over and over.  At some point the child might just like breaking bubbles.  Lots of the things we do and reach for are rather empty but we go for them time and again.  How many of the same thing do you need to buy?  At some point the purchases fill up nothing but space in your life.  So when I am shopping, I have to ask myself, “Am I chasing bubbles?”  And for the Alcoholic, the next drink is just a bubble.  

Choice Or Change

 A lot of people choose a religion or belief system because they think it is the correct one, all others being degrees of incorrectness.  Its importance is the truth of what it professes to be so. But often the choice is not supposed to be about right versus false or off center, but about surrender and transformation.  Often there is the least surrender of one’s will, one’s wants, by those who profess to be right.  I am not so interested or fascinated by someone saying that they are a Buddhist or belong to AA, as in how this choice has led to surrendering their ego-centeredness.  It is what one does and not what one believes that makes the big difference.  

Sacraments

 The church has what it calls “Sacraments.”  These sacraments both reveal and conceal.  On the one hand they reveal to the believer that God is present in the host, the white round wafer, that is received at mass.  But catechisms, and dogma can only reveal.  There is more to a sacrament than what dogma can reveal which is why the host, when consumed, needs us to rest quietly with what we have just done.  A Sacrament requires us to meditate in silence and stillness to allow what is concealed to be slowly revealed, over time, God’s time.  And what is revealed will ultimately change us for the better.  It works the same way to some extent in recovery.  The Big Book reveals a lot about alcoholism and the person.  But if there is no meditation on the steps, the recovery process, one is often left with information and not transformation.  Going to a meeting downstairs or church upstairs and then leaving right after to “get on with your life” won’t make the necessary change that we all need to be our best self.  You need the quiet time if not there than sometime that day.