Trials

 Trials are really a training ground for you to become detached, to let go of self, and ego.  When we focus on the trial is it not all about the self?  “I really want that drink or drug,” and where is the focus?  On yourself.  Let go of self.  How?  Surrender.  Turn the ego self over to your higher power or God.  Rather than the ego fighting for control, a lost cause, you turn yourself over to the God Power.  Admit that the ego cannot control your life.  The ego you that wants the drink, takes the drink.  But the recovering you, is not so ego focused.  The turning over of the will and life to God gets you out of yourself and you don’t drink.  Trials are to get us back on track when we have drifted off.  Like any successful athlete who trains every day, you need to do this admittance of powerlessness and need to turn your life over, every day.  You then have a “fit” spiritual condition.  

Intention

 When you have an intention to pray for something or in a particular manner do you ever find your mind drifting off into something not related to your intention in prayer?  This is because we can control our intention, such as the intention to meditate in quiet and stillness.  But we cannot control our attention.  The mind can drift off into its own world time and time again.  When we catch ourself doing this we try to bring ourself back to our intention, only to have the attention take off again.  The intention and act of trying to pray is enough.  Don’t beat yourself up for inattention.  

Great Injustices

 The pope of the Catholic Church at this time, Francis I, seems to be very focused on the unwanted in society, who can suffer great injustices in a world of prejudice.  Why doesn’t he just talk about Jesus?  Well he does.  Jesus was rejected by the powers of his world, religious and political.  He was innocently crucified.  This was a great injustice.  He was poor himself.  He was unwanted by many who had a lot of material goods.  He rejected religion that aligned itself with power.  The Pope lives in a small apartment.  He does not live in the big papal quarters of previous popes.  It makes one think about the road to holiness.  

Singleness Of Purpose

 When people get together to share about their transformation process, their spiritual journey, they know enough to keep their opinions to themself.  Spiritual groups that I know of that seem to work, stick to talking about the masters who have been successful in the journey.  So they often quote literature that everyone can agree is the “real deal.”  Singleness of purpose means that you are there to help one another and especially to help the newer ones among you, just starting on the journey.  Wisdom is in the literature, such as Sutras, Big Book, Bible, Koran, Vedanta, and books that seem to gleam wisdom from such sources.  Opinions are ego trips.  In such meetings I never try to say, “In my opinion,” because it is just that and I am a mere beginner on this path.  My purpose is not to show off but to show up and help another to grow.  

Christmas Card God

 A lot of people who are angry and have given up on God wanted a Christmas Card god.  Christmas cards are full of nice pictures, sweet scenes, baby and angels, happy parents.  Everything is going well.  That is the god a lot of people want.  They want their god to make everything go well, in the direction they think is “well.”  No one ever sends out Good Friday cards.  They are too gruesome.  Lots of suffering and pain.  No one likes suffering and pain, even if that is the only way to transformation.  If Recovery programs and the 12 steps were all that easy, many more addicts would jump on them.  If Christianity were always Christmas, there would be a lot more church going Christians, and a lot more believers.  Even Zen says that you will suffer first.  Lots of people want the airy buzz but do not want to do the hard, daily, boring at times, work for transformation.  

Feeling Sorry

 Can you tell someone you are sorry for something you did, even if you don’t feel any sorrow?  Yes.  Feeling sorry is not under your control.  Saying you are sorry is an act of the will.  You can control that to some extent.  But you cannot control your feelings.  Think of feeling angry.  You feel angry.  You did not decide to feel angry.  It just came up emotionally.  But you can decide to act other than angry.  It is an act of the will.  Now some people, addicts for instance, have broken wills.  They kept wanting to stop but never could.  Their will-power was too damaged.  But in recovery they get a will that works much better.  Through the steps which they decide to do even if they do not “feel” like doing them, they can get to where they apologize for bad behavior.  They don’t have to wait to feel anything before they do  most any of the steps.  

The Disturbance

When you become disturbed about a situation do you generally blame the situation for your feeling disturbed?  This seems to be the case when not sufficiently on a spiritual path.  The outsides control the insides.  Choice has been taken from us.  We are powerless to be otherwise.  Feelings rule.  I suggest that maybe something might be the matter with us when we let outsides have this effect.  Otherwise, we try to change the outsides to make us feel better.  There is an axiom that says, whenever we are disturbed, no matter the cause, there is something wrong with us.  In most cases I believe this is so with many of us.  Choice has not been taken from us.  We have given it up.  Why?  Because choice takes work, a spiritual practice that works on our insides so that we can exercise choice when stuff happens.  Life on life’s terms does not mean we must be miserable when things don’t go our way.