Retired

 Some people, when they reach “retirement age”  have a fear.  They won’t be busy.  I am listed as “retired.”  I can get into this fear.  Why?  Because I might have gotten too used to work, schedules, to do things, as a way of covering up something, such as spiritual growth.  Such growth comes with REST!  Rest in meditation, walks, doing something slowly and not on a schedule or deadline.  My worth would depend on getting things done.  So I write this blog for myself.  You young people might think it is not for you.  But maybe your present choices ought to be in preparation for retirement?  Learn to take rest time in prayer, renewal?  Or you might not make it to any “retirement.”  Stress is often a choice.  

Restless

 To be restless is an invitation to prayer.  It is a signal feeling.  It demands the discipline of turning inward in some way.  Evil is on the outside, that is, we have not yet done any stupid action in response to this restless feeling.  The outsides are trying to tell the insides what to do and this is not good.  The need for discipline is because the heart is not so noisy as to shout out, “Pay attention!”  That would come after we have done something stupid, like get drunk or spend money we don’t have, or enter a relationship that is not good for us.  Being uncomfortable in this restlessness is just part of life.  The quote, “Be still and know that I am God.”  Or “Accept the things I cannot change and change the things I can.”

The Field

 Meditation is like a fruit that grows and ripens in a field that is cared for.  The field can get cluttered up with things that are not part of good soil, such as rocks, branches from nearby trees or trees in the field.  And when a tree no longer bears fruit it can be removed, like a work that is no longer productive.  Meditation seems to guide me, with its Power, God, giving direction as to what is next.  I must be patient but work daily, as the farmer must work the field though the fruit ripens in its own time.  

Distractions

Do I water my heart with schedules and distractions?  My heart is like a plant that needs to be properly nourished.  Prayer does this.  Distractions and schedules choke it.  Yesterday was one of those days when I did my routine morning prayers at about 3:30 PM.  And there was so much stuff that I let get in the way.  It was my choice rather than a must do thing.  I feel spiritually parched.  But today is another day and I let the past be the past.  Live in the present with its opportunity.  

The Storm

Many people give up on God belief or Higher Power belief because they were frightened and asked God to bring the calm, or solve the issue.  “Save me!”  But it is always on their terms.  “God, make it stop now!”  It does not stop.  The fear remains and they think God has abandoned them or there is no God.  But it never occurs to them that God is with them, but the message is to “ride out the storm.”  They were never alone.  They only felt alone.  Feelings ruled their faith.  To ride out the storm is to make us stronger.  God has a plan.  It is just not our plan at times.   

Monotony

 Prayer can be monotonous.  Why?  So as to give us to the practice of persistence.  Persistence is the answer to any hidden cross we carry in our prayer life.  If you do things only when you feel like doing them, you will get little done.  Prayer, and recovery can be pleasing and interesting, but just not always.  Not much growth if we only do things when we want.  A relationship with God is not always satisfying.  God is not in your life to fill up your feelings or imagination.  God is in your life to change you for the better.  If God suffered monotony when I don’t change, then I would be in a very bad way.  So if God can put up with our indifference, tepidness, and lack of faith, then I think we can put up with a little less whoopee in prayer.  

The Focus

  A pre-occupation with self-fulfillment will not work because when the self is the center it never feels self-fulfilled.  “More” is its mantra.  It is similar to the drinking alcoholic.  More is never enough.  The very idea of denying the self seems counter-intuitive.  Having less goes against the grain for the self.  Prayer for this self-focus person is about getting something.  God becomes the “Getter God.”  The relationship with a Higher Power God only lasts as long as you get what you want.  The Self is not a giver or a lover, except to the self.  I try to make my prayer a relationship and one of surrender on my part of any program for happiness my self might have conjured up for me.