Missionary

 A missionary is not one who spreads the doctrine by teaching.  It is one who makes visible their faith, God’s unconditional love,  in some public manner.  For Christians what good is it to bless yourself and say grace as a group before a meal and then everyone goes back to their cell phones?   Or to go to mass and then judge and critique others.  It is the same way with people in recovery.  What good are the reciting of the twelve steps if you cannot live them in a public manner.  To go to a meeting and then come out angry and judgmental and off-putting does who any good?  We have to be signs of hope and not just words of hope.  Doctrine without action keeps the Spirit hidden.  

Grace

 I am connected to the universe.  At one time it was all packed together as one substance.  Then it expanded.  I live in a city and cannot see the full night sky.  But when I go to Sea Ranch, on the California Coast each Fall, I can see so many stars and the Milky Way.  It was the same in the Monastery where I once lived.  I am part of all I see in the sky.  So I am never really alone and isolated except in my head and heart feelings.  Loneliness is a feeling, but that does not make me alone.  If I am connected to the distant star then I am connected to the person walking down the street, in the grocery store, and with all the plants and flowers around the neighborhood.  Grace is everywhere.  

Other People

 Being with other people is not the solution to loneliness. The problem is that you have not learned how to be with yourself. You seek escape. Everyone feels lonely one time or another. It is part of life. When a loved one dies those who loved them feel lots of loneliness.  Part of the solution is spiritual. For instance, meditation with its solitude and silence helps one to be with oneself. And if a believer, you realize you are never alone. It makes the silence feel a bit fuller and less empty. It can help with the grief process after a loss.  It beats drinking and other overuse. 

Abusive

What is an abusive relationship?  It is one in which you decide you cannot live without it. This is why the advice of others who are outside the relationship, that is, objective, cannot figure out why you don’t just let go.  It is why alcoholics never listen much to non-alcoholics. Recovery programs are filled with like-minded people who experienced the abusive relationship with their addiction. Like-minded people in recovery give the newcomer hope. Hope softens the fear. Hope replaces will-power which is broken. 

Belonging

 When someone asks what church you go to or if you go to church, listen to the response.  If the response is, “I go to so and so church,” it might be an indicator that they attend now and again.  If the response is, “I belong to so and so church” they are probably members who help make the church function and know people in the congregation.  It is the same with people in recovery  “I go to this or that meeting” is different from “I am a member of this or that meeting.”  A member has a service commitment now and again and they know and interact with other persons and welcome the newcomer.  I have found that belonging is more fruitful for me than attending.  It beats back loneliness, a scourge in our culture.

Fixed Up

 When life seems to break us, or we fall apart, the patch, repair, does not restore us to brand new.  It is this way with a lot of things that get fixed.  The repair is part of the fix.  But whatever was broken is now useful again.  So it is with us.  The past is part of the fix.  We fell apart or were broken.  Recovery is like that.  The past is not to be forgotten.  It is part of us and can be shared with someone still broken.  They see the recovered person is fixed and the newcomer wants that too.  This gives them hope.  It happens in religious repentance.  Don’t forget the past for which you might be sorry.  That past might help someone else who sees you, once broken, and now fixed and being of service, scars and all.  

Communal

 If religion for you is simply meditation, it would be like a person who says they are in recovery and the 11th step, meditation part, is all they do in AA.  Unless you have a vocation to be a monk, and few do, spirituality, to be healthy, must have a communal nature.  AA is meetings and 12 steps.  Going to religious services and participation in some group activities of one sort or another make for the fuller, more communal person.  Meditation and communal is a nice balance.  OK. Now I have to leave here and go do something with others.  Bye!