Idols

Some people will say they don’t believe in God.  It is seen by them as idol worship.  But then note what idols the non-believer worships, such as power, control, $$$, self, and so on.  God belief is of no use if it is only about worship, going to religious worship, and dogma.  If there is no surrender of the will, service to others, selfless instead of selfish, then what was the point?  My faith must make a change in me and not in God.  Fox-hole prayers want God to change with the illusion that I will change as a result.  I am thankful for a patient God as I trudge along.   

No Half-Measures

There can be no half-measures in surrender.  You either do or you don’t.  What gets in the way is a lot of half-measure stuff that can embarrass the so-called “spiritual person.”  You can do for others but with a sense of self-importance, self-interest and self-aggrandizement.  This half-measure is rarely seen that way, because we focus on the good we are doing.  Plus, self-interest in such care for others is rapped up in the results.  We get upset if the results don’t work as we want.  You can go to church and still be a difficult person when you come out.  But you did your duty, or showed a good face.  The ego holds on to the very end.  The end?  Selfless uncompromising surrender.  Sometimes desperation is the only road available to surrender.   

Being Seen

when you enter a room and sit down without saying hello or speaking to anyone you are opening yourself to loneliness. I would not be letting anyone see me in a sense. It is feeling lonely in a room full of people. So I try to say something to someone and not sit separate from everyone else. It can cut into any loneliness. Being lonely at times is just part of being human.  But I need not encourage it by behavior that separates purposely.

Missionary

 A missionary is not one who spreads the doctrine by teaching.  It is one who makes visible their faith, God’s unconditional love,  in some public manner.  For Christians what good is it to bless yourself and say grace as a group before a meal and then everyone goes back to their cell phones?   Or to go to mass and then judge and critique others.  It is the same way with people in recovery.  What good are the reciting of the twelve steps if you cannot live them in a public manner.  To go to a meeting and then come out angry and judgmental and off-putting does who any good?  We have to be signs of hope and not just words of hope.  Doctrine without action keeps the Spirit hidden.  

Grace

 I am connected to the universe.  At one time it was all packed together as one substance.  Then it expanded.  I live in a city and cannot see the full night sky.  But when I go to Sea Ranch, on the California Coast each Fall, I can see so many stars and the Milky Way.  It was the same in the Monastery where I once lived.  I am part of all I see in the sky.  So I am never really alone and isolated except in my head and heart feelings.  Loneliness is a feeling, but that does not make me alone.  If I am connected to the distant star then I am connected to the person walking down the street, in the grocery store, and with all the plants and flowers around the neighborhood.  Grace is everywhere.  

Other People

 Being with other people is not the solution to loneliness. The problem is that you have not learned how to be with yourself. You seek escape. Everyone feels lonely one time or another. It is part of life. When a loved one dies those who loved them feel lots of loneliness.  Part of the solution is spiritual. For instance, meditation with its solitude and silence helps one to be with oneself. And if a believer, you realize you are never alone. It makes the silence feel a bit fuller and less empty. It can help with the grief process after a loss.  It beats drinking and other overuse. 

Abusive

What is an abusive relationship?  It is one in which you decide you cannot live without it. This is why the advice of others who are outside the relationship, that is, objective, cannot figure out why you don’t just let go.  It is why alcoholics never listen much to non-alcoholics. Recovery programs are filled with like-minded people who experienced the abusive relationship with their addiction. Like-minded people in recovery give the newcomer hope. Hope softens the fear. Hope replaces will-power which is broken.