Doubt

 There is a time in belief in which we doubt.  It is the doubt time.  It need not be a crisis, as if all faith is lost.  It is a faze.  It’s part of belief.  Jesus told his disciples, who saw him alive after he was dead, that they would doubt.  So me, who never saw Jesus in his risen body, should not be all that flummoxed by times of doubt.  People in recovery programs can have times of doubt.  It is part of recovery.  It is the human condition of growth.  My prayer, in times of doubt, is to ask my God to help me through this moment of doubt.  It is irony that one prays to their higher power to help them through this moment when they doubt there is a higher power.  In belief we are still fragile human beings.  Only the proud think they should never doubt.  Pride goes before the fall, not doubt.  

Ascension

 There is a lot of Christian art work and a writing in the New Testament of the Bible, that Jesus ascended into heaven on a cloud.  Well, I don’t doubt that, I notice that two of the people who saw Jesus ascend, wrote Gospels, and neither of them thought it all that important to put this scene in.  John and Matthew wrote two of the four Gospels.  Why skip Ascension?  They both believed, as I do, that Jesus is God in the flesh, Risen from the dead.  What John and Matthew focus on is what we are supposed to do who say we believe this to be true?  A lot of the Baptized, believe in the Creed of Ascension, but they do not follow Jesus’ teaching.  My reading of the bible indicates that God has not much use for those who fail to follow Jesus. I do this at times, and repentance is my eventual response.  But some think they are just fine doing their version of “follow me.”  It is a bit like an addict believe that the recovery literature is correct, but then doing it their own way.  It never really works.  

Importance

Why might prayer help me to feel important enough so that I don’t have to seek the approval of others to feel important?  In prayer, I might very well come into contact with a Power, God, Spirit, greater than me, that is not condemning, but humbly being present to me.  So What?  Well, if this Power likes being with me, and it is greater than I am, maybe I am good enough for this God to be with me.  Is not the presence of someone who loves me, enough to give me the sense of importance, value, worth?  I find it so. And if this power is humble, maybe being humble myself and not seeking outside approval is just fine for today in all I do, or don’t do.   

Agains

 If you want to avoid something that has not “Yet” happened, it might be good to avoid to “Agains.”   For instance, I have not yet been hit by a car crossing the street, but I again jay-walk.  It is only a matter of time until the again leads to the yet being wiped out along with me.  Your partner has not walked out on you but you continue to practice bad behavior, low social skills.  You have not had a heart attack but again eat lots of sugar and carbs and processed foods, and so on.  The drunk knows about the yets and the agains.  Until they don’t.  

The Purpose

Without light the eye does not know its function to see.  All is dark.  Without sound, the ear does not know its purpose, to listen.  So it is with the soul or spirit within us.  Without prayer, it does not know its function and without prayer, we do not know we have any inner life.  And we will see and hear better if we have some spiritual practice.  We will see what is real and hear what is real instead of seeing only what we want and hearing only what we want.  The narrow world is always for the self-centered and fearful.   

The First Time

 Do you know the date of your First Holy Communion?  I know mine.  May 20.  I think I was in the second grade.  After that I could begin to train to be an Altar Boy.  The First Holy Communion is a memorable date but not necessarily a life-changing one.  One Communion is a bit like your first recovery meeting.  You might remember the date but it won’t change you. Your wedding date does not make you a husband or wife.  It takes lots of repeats to make a change for the better.  Fortunately, I received lots of repeat Holy Communions after the first one, so the effects tended to get deep into me.  Someone in recovery and in repeat meetings knows how the process of recovery works with repeats.  Just like addiction gets worse with repeats.  Although I still am in touch with mediocrity, I think I am in better spiritual shape now with repeat days of prayer.  Over and over is a good way to go.  

Prada

 I saw the movie, “The Devil Wears Prada.”  The night before I watched on TV, the first of this movie, made 20 years ago.  One of the differences I noticed is that there was little cell phone focus in the first movie.  In the second one, they were part of one’s body it seems.  And being answered immediately.  New York City street scenes had changed some, but it was the cell phone that made the difference.  How do you ladies wear those high heals and walk?  Isn’t it painful?  Oh, there was a cell phone in the first movie, but not so noticeable as the second and the thing I like is that the actress threw it into a fountain of water as she made a decision to change her life.  Such is the control of the phone, high heals or not.