Othering

 Children seem to accept others in all their differences.  But then comes indoctrination, culture in which they live.  Differences are taught such that people become “others.”  Others are not one of us, due to culture, color, income, class and so on.  I have to check on myself each day and see if I am othering people.  If I see the beggar on the street and say, “There but for the grace of God,” then I am not othering.  This does not always happen though.  “Thank God, I am not one of those people,” is sometimes the first thought or feeling.  We all have gifts, sometimes hidden, often different, but more visible to the humble onlooker.  

Recovery

Recovery from addiction requires certain rules, and rules limit one’s freedom.  If you want to go from Boulder, Colorado to Aspen you cannot get there by going East.  It is a simple rule of geography.  A goal limits one.  If you were leaving Boulder and did not care where you went, then you could go in any direction.  You have to have a desire to go to Aspen in order to follow the rule.  You seem to have to have desperation to follow the rule for recovery.  Abstinence is too much unless you are desperate.  We love our freedom.  But at the cost of one’s life?  The rules, steps that limit us now can open us to a whole new world.  I like such rules.   

Seek and Find

 I find that solitude is very helpful for me each day.  I need time in solitude which is not the same as being alone.  Solitude has more of a spiritual connect.  To what?  To a Power that helps me find or reconnect with my lost sense of self.  It got lost in the hullabaloo of daily life.  The hullabaloo is where I end up doing someone else’s will to please them or fulfill a false sense of who I am.  A false me cannot find God’s will, which is for the authentic me.  In solitude, prayer deepens me to reconnect.  Then I can be open to the Divine Power and what I can authentically be today.  

Charity

 Charity, as in love, does not go looking for evil.  Living with others who are not like me reveals how much love I have.  If I think they are evil because they are different from me, then I lock charity.  I am looking for differences and see them as negative, rather than as a way to expand my horizons, get different opinions.  And then finally, acceptance of our differences.  Who knows how they see my manner?  To think I am the good norm, is simply my opinion.  And to ignore them is to learn nothing.  

Community

 What is the point of living in community?  One good reason is that community allows those with whom we live to become our teachers.  See yourself as a learner amongst those with whom you associate or with whom you live.  Learn what?  How to escape self-complacency.  You read in a paper or on line about the sufferings of someone(s) in some other place or country.  You sort of dismiss it or pass over this story moving on to something “more interesting.”  Why?  Because their suffering differs from your own.  Their home got flooded out, but you are suffering from a toothache.  You would stop at a story that was about the latest dentistry and tooth decay solutions.  It is harder to escape those with whom we live in community.  Which is why they can upset us all the more than a story in the news.  

Do Over

 Why do people drink too much alcohol?  They want a do over of reality.  They want a reshoot of the scene in which they find themself.  An example: they walk into a room full of people at a social occasion.  They feel lonely, not part of any group.  They lack sober social skills to fit in.  But when they start drinking the scene changes for them.  They feel able to speak and interact and feel part of the whole social scene.  Until the social scene does not feel part of them.  Too much scene changing alcohol.  So if you feel disconnected at a social event, realize it is only your opinion.  The reality may be you are more connected than you think.  Sober.  

Feelings

Feelings are optional.  We cannot control them.  But we need not wait for them in order to make a decision.  For instance, we can say we are sorry for something without waiting to feel sorry.  You can make an act of the will not to do whatever you are not yet sorry for.  You need not feel sorry.  Pray and decide to change.  People go to recovery meetings without feeling a desire to go.  People go to church, synagogue, ashram, temple, without feeling a desire to go.  Feelings are always optional.  I have met many a person who did not feel like going to recovery meetings anymore.  Then they drank and only bad things happened.  If I waited until I felt like writing a blog there would be many a blank day.  Or jogging for that matter.