Sees Fit

 I tell my God that I give all of me, the good and the bad.  This way I don’t have to be just good in order to attempt surrender.  But then I say, “Do with me as you see fit.”  I figure God is going to do good stuff and remove all my bad, or not so good.  But that is not what I prayed for.  I said, “as you see fit.”  What if God decides to leave some of my character defects, my bad habits with me?  Humm.  For what purpose?  Maybe to keep me humble.  

Approval

The problem with not feeling like we are enough is that we often need someone else’s approval to confirm that we are enough.  We build our life on the opinions of others.  We don’t accept our being little, imperfect, weak.  This might be why we become more unsettled as we age.  We diminish in ways that are new to us.  “We used to” but now we cannot or cannot do as we did.  I try not to base my day and my aging on someone’s approval of me.  It is a gift to be alive today.  So I must have some purpose with my diminished skills.  Meditation reminds me that God loves me.

Someday

 Why let “someday” rule your life.  It may never come anyway.  You think you will change or do this or not do that “someday.”  Why not start with now.  You won’t to become your best self and that is always something that can be begun in the present.  Someday is an illusion.  It allows us to postpone.  Someday I hope to become a better version of my imperfect self.  Well, why wait?  Start with now.  It is all we have.  Someday projects often never get done.  

Busy, Busy

 Why do we stay so busy sometimes, or all the time?  One reason is that we always have something to prove.  We are just not good enough unless and until we get this and that done.  We want to show that we are on top of stuff.  To not do something on our list is to be less than or even a failure.  And we have to do it well.  But there is just so much time in a day.  We end up going to bed a failure for not getting this and that done.  This need to prove keeps us so busy that we fail to have any time to meditate.  Such do nothing prayer gets in the way of the do something life.  So what do you need to prove today?  Who is scoring your life?  

The Bad Too

 If you think that you have to be perfect for anyone to want you, or you think you are simply never enough, I refer you to the Seventh Step of the AA Recovery program.  In part it prays, “ I am now willing that you have all of me, good and bad.”  Apparently, this step in a recovery from Alcoholism says that imperfection if fine with the Higher Power.  I think that God loves us not because we are good but because God has decided to love us.  So we can surrender ourself just as we are to God. We don’t have to be perfect to be loved.  No one is perfect.  It is a fantasy.  So give God you as you are each day and especially when you mess up, but are entirely ready to become a better person.   

The Ripple Effect

 I believe in the ripple effect.  There are two of them.  One is a cheap wine I used to drink, named “Ripple.”  The other is when I do something that is positive and see how it seems to spread.  I can be kind and helpful.  Others experience this and they in turn begin to do the same.  I have found that criticizing never did much good to change people.  In fact it has a bad ripple effect.  I don’t recommend the wine but I do recommend the positive activity and attitude.  

The Letter

 One way to be of service is to write someone a letter without expecting a response.  Not everyone knows how to write anymore with  pen and paper.  I  sometimes write on museum card stationery with a fountain pen.  Classy.  I sometimes write someone who does not even expect to get a letter from me.  I write in cursive.  Older people can read cursive.  I never met anyone who said they hated to get a snail mail letter from me.  So much junk mail, and then the letter.  It helps make my day.  Gets me out of myself.