The Focus

  A pre-occupation with self-fulfillment will not work because when the self is the center it never feels self-fulfilled.  “More” is its mantra.  It is similar to the drinking alcoholic.  More is never enough.  The very idea of denying the self seems counter-intuitive.  Having less goes against the grain for the self.  Prayer for this self-focus person is about getting something.  God becomes the “Getter God.”  The relationship with a Higher Power God only lasts as long as you get what you want.  The Self is not a giver or a lover, except to the self.  I try to make my prayer a relationship and one of surrender on my part of any program for happiness my self might have conjured up for me.  

Out Loud

 Fear is what keeps us from living our faith out loud.  We say that it is private and we don’t want to bother anyone with our beliefs.  Or we think that everyone should decide for themself.  Yes, but they could use a bit of guidance or example, or a way to follow.  A person in addictive recovery is supposed to proclaim by practice which is rather public when you refuse some drink or drug at an event.  Or when you begin to act in a whole new saner way than you used to, as in less selfish or angry or whining.  If you worship with a congregation you don’t have to sneak out so no one knows.  Live a bit out loud.  

The Diamond

 A home group or congregation is like a Diamond.  A. Diamond sparkles in many different ways, but it is still the one diamond.  The gathering of the group is to keep the sparkle in the diamond of the group.  Each member brings out a a bit different shining.  Differences but all good and all having a common keepness.  The diamond became a diamond because something died and was crushed.  All seemed buried and in darkness but eventually discovery.  My prayer life and spiritual practice is to keep me as my shining part of the diamond, the people who journey with me.  

Maureen

 Today is my Big Sister’s birthday.  A good day to remember a wonderful person.  She stopped celebrating at 64.  She died.  She missed a lot of stuff, good stuff.  Grandkids growing up and now getting married.  One grand child is engaged.  Maureen never met her as the grandchild was not born yet.  I hope they remember grandma at the wedding celebrations.  I called Maureen “Sis” probably because I could not talk very well.  She was my only sis as later siblings had not come along yet.  I used to preach stories about her but that only made her more popular than me.  So I gave that up to spare my fragile ego.  I hope that she is praying for me to go to heaven.  But since I was a little brat and spoiled, so she says, she might not want eternity with me.  This lifetime was enough.  But saints forgive, so I am betting on her good behavior in the prayer department.  Hi Sis!

Stars

 In our Western culture we often act as if we are separate stars unto ourself.  Each star is different and separate.  Each star sustains itself.  One star does not try and sustain another.  But in fact we are also a part of a constellation.  We are more than a separate star unto ourself.  Stars share matter that at one time was all one.  The Bang made a separation but in fact there is still a connection.  A constellation is part of a galaxy and so on.  We are all connected.  A spiritual life challengers a sense of separation.  There is always a WE made up of I, you, them.  

The Rain

 It rains on everyone.  The rain does not decide to rain only on selfish, inconsiderate, or clueless persons.  It rains on the good and the bad.  I need my love to be like the rain.  Don’t judge but love,  OK, judge but still love.  God loves everyone.  Well, sometimes I think God has bad taste.  But that is the challenge of “love your enemies.  Love those who hate you.”  Maybe they need love too?  Maybe they are having a bad day, or bad life?.  I get on the bus and some young person is sitting in a senior seat glued to their cell phone.  I wish them dead.  But maybe they need love too?  So I ask my God to give them what they need.  I usually have a better day as well.  

Outside Eyes

I found myself recently trying to do too much with too little time.  Why did I not say, “I can only do this now, but not that.”  Because I was trying to do things for ‘outside eyes.’  I was doing it to please others.  They already like me and appreciate what I am doing.  They have no expectations of my doing EXTRA.  I run a weekly meeting.  I bake treats.  I stress myself out to bake when I really have not the time today.  The meeting does not require treats.  Is this blog for outside eyes? No.  It is to remind me that I need a meeting!