Lubricant

What is your social lubricant?  That is, what do you use or feel you need to fit into a group situation, a social event?  It might be hair, clothes, fitness, alcohol, pill or powder, money, job or title.  If fitting in becomes full of too much anxiety you might soon make your lubricant a wedge that keeps you separate.  Instead of a drink, you get intoxicated.  A little perfume becomes everyone moving away from you or opening windows!  And so on.  Moderation separates lubricants from wedges.  Or maybe someday with inner work, you won’t feel the anxiety about fitting in.  And maybe the group was not for you in the first place.   

Gifts

It is said that giving a gift has a longer lasting feeling than receiving a gift.  I think this is so.  We are like children when we receive a gift.  We are excited and focused,  but then it passes quickly and we are on to the next buzz.  When you give a gift, the feeling last longer.  and gift giving is more mature spiritually than receiving.  It is why you don’t want people to marry too young while they see the relationship as what they can get.  It will fade all too fast.  Spiritual paths teach us to grow by learning to give, to be of service.  This is the maturity of one in recovery.  They are almost totally receivers in the beginning stages, but in time, if they are to deepen their recovery they have to learn to be of service.   

Baby Baptism

 I have done a lot of baby baptisms in my priesthood.  Squirming, crying babies is a great metaphor for what baptism is all about.  The baby is being taken out of its routine and whines about it, as do babies.  They want what they want when they want it.  Cold water on their body, fussing with their clothes is most inconvenient.  What a metaphor for the Christian way of life, the cross.  Baptism is seen by many as simply heavenly life insurance.  The way of the cross is buried.  Who would want baptism if they knew it was about sacrifice, overcoming your self-will, especially when it runs riot, being of service to others, selflessly, without whining?  For many, just going to a religious service once a week is way beyond their “busy” life.  It is the same in recovery.  If the newcomer knew what was needed down the road, they might just not bother to come in the door.  In recovery whining is acceptable for newcomers.  They are babies in non-addictive behavior.  The others, more mature in recovery, are of service to help the newcomer to grow up.  

Example

 Often I run into people who say that they changed churches or recovery meetings because the church or meeting did not have what they wanted.  It was not being done “the right way.”  So they find a place where everyone is pretty much like them.  So who witnesses the right way to those who are on the so called “wrong way?”  Rather than judge a group, I think, for me, I want to be of service.  So I go where people do things differently than I prefer.  By my manner and practice I am an example of a different way.  Is it uncomfortable? Yes. But then being of service is such.  For Christians, we are people of the cross, not the softer, easier way. 

Hidden Growth

You might look at a tree over a period of time, a young tree, and see that it is not growing upwards all that fast.  Why can you not see more growth?  Well, the tree is growing, but not so as you can see it.  It is growing deeper roots, more connected with other trees around it.  You cannot see this.  Eventually, with deeper roots, the tree will manifest growth and become quite robust and useful to nature.  So it is with meditation.  You and others may see nothing much for a while.  You think it is but a waste of time.  You seem to be the same ole, same ole.  But consistency in practice is the digging of roots.  In time, not your ego’s time, you will blossom and be of service to others.  All training for a goal takes patience and consistent practice.  Ask any successful runner.   

Pilgrimage

 I am too selfish and self-centered to be of much use to others unless I undertake the secret pilgrimage of interior surrender.  Surrender to what or whom?  To an energy, Power, God, who can lead me through my faults and free me from them on a daily basis.  My faults don’t go away, but they can cease to control me on a daily basis if I practice prayer and meditation.  I blog with all this advice and “wisdom” because I read, pray and meditate, not because I am so perfect.  Far from it.  The delusional me forgets my shortcomings and with that forgets my spiritual path.  Chaos develops for me and others quite quickly.  If my blogs don’t help you, they help me for which I am most grateful, as are those around me.  

Peace

 There are two kinds of peace.  There is negative peace.  This is where we don’t have war or battle with one another.  This might be us and China.  But there is also positive peace.  This is where we seek the flourishing of others that we might otherwise battle.  Christians used to kill one another over religious differences.  Now we don’t. We have negative peace.  But if we help one another to flourish then we have positive peace.  I recall a born again church community in Vero Beach, Florida who offered the use of their building for Catholic mass while the new Catholic parish was constructing its own church building.  This is active peace.  You walk into an Addiction recovery meeting and see or hear a person you don’t like, you don’t punch them in the face.  This is negative peace.  But if you go up and introduce yourself and then offer to be of some service in their recovery, that is active peace.