Could And Should

 A “could” person is one who has a way of seeing from a heart that is fed in deep prayer.  This person knows what they can do and what they cannot do.  They do not act out of shame and guilt.  They have no neurotic self-need to stay busy.  One who prays deeply cannot stay busy in the exterior life.  The “should” person lives a more shallow spiritual life, if any at all.  Their energy to act, and the petulance that usually accompanies action, comes from shame and guilt.  They want to make themself feel better.  When I get upset, whiny, or resentful while doing good deeds, I know I have flipped from could to should.  It is always about me and not much about others.  

Never Enough

 Are you distracted or preoccupied about saving the world around you, if not the whole world?  Your distraction might be more about being needed, than saving the world.  If so, then you might be diagnosed with “never enoughness.”  Many people find the solution to never enoughness by being busy all the time fixing what they think needs it.  Not that things and situations don’t need fixing, but the motive is important.  Why?  Because sooner or later the fixer will need fixing.  One needs a spiritual practice, time away from it all, in some quiet reflexive state.  One needs to listen to the heart.  And the heart listens to a power that is not you.  What will you discover while the world falls apart without you fixing it at the moment?  You will find you are enough.  Then what?  Then you will know a pace and manner of service in the world.  

The Gate

 In an amusement park the entry gate is different from the gate out, so as to keep the crowds moving.  Prayer is not like this.  There is the one gate for both in and out.  The gate in is an invitation.  The gate out is a resolution.  Going to the gate and through it is all our verbal prayers.  But once inside, as in a sheepfold, there is space for quiet, safety and rest.  It is not the place for our verbal prayers.  The sheepfold is a place for silent intimacy.  I believe God appreciates our verbal prayers and recitation of psalms, but at some point, I believe that God would like a deeper intimacy wherein God can connect to our deeper self.  There courage resides.  Courage on the spiritual path is fed on intimate love, not fiery speeches.  It is the courage that energizes resolutions so that when we leave through the same gate, we go out to serve with love.  Love takes courage, because it is often not returned.  God knows this.  

Your Place

 If everyone says you should be doing this but you say no, you need to do that, well, who is right?  Can they all be wrong?  Sometimes.  Look at two spiritual icons, Jesus and the Buddha.  Everyone thought that the sitting under a bodhi tree or being crucified was crazy.  Everyone but Jesus and the Buddha.  But they were spiritual giants.  Are you?  Every time that I went against the trend of others, and I was wrong, it was because my spiritual life and practice was shallow to say the least.  But my God saved me from myself, my self-centered decisions, and I ended up way better than if I were on my own.  So I know that I have to stay in touch at some deep level with my “Savior” if I am not to get lost in trying to do it on my own.  

Going Deep

 I suppose if you believe there is no God, Power, infinite Source, then emptying the Mind might be the purpose of deep meditation.  I am not so sure my mind ever gets empty.  Rather I might become unaware of random thoughts.  Since I believe in an Infinite Source I believe that there is an intimate union, One that is transcendent, and ultimately a sense of Union with this Power that is not me.  And when it becomes Love, there is only Union.  I believe in this Power because for a few people this sense of Oneness and Love can come without any practice.  Just read the Bill Wilson experience, the co-founder of AA.  Love is always a gift.  

Your Stuff

 Are you an adventurer or a watchman?  As someone said, it depends on how much stuff you have.  Too much stuff and you become a watchman.  With sufficiently less stuff, you can travel lightly and become an adventurer.  I still have a lot of stuff.  But working on it.  And I cannot take it all with me when I make the ultimate journey.

Relecture

 When you take an old text and reinterpret it according to changing times and events, it is called “Relecture.”  New Testament writers did it with Old Testament text.  The old is correct but expanded or deepened in terms of new events.  Bill Wilson wrote the Big Book in 1939.  It is correct for its time, but new information comes along about addiction and people expand their original understanding.  New research gives deeper information.  Social relationships have changed and so on.  It is not about right and wrong, but about expanding in a reinterpretation.