the Spectator

As a spectator you are watching something, listening to something, and there are others with you, or in the same physical space, who are doing the same thing.  Think of a sporting event or a symphony, or a lecture.  You might think you are a “we” because you all had the experience of spectator, student, fan.  But then how much more are you connected to those same people with whom you sit, when the event is over and you leave?  Not much?  Then you are not a “we.”  Sobriety and worship are not spectator events.  To the extent that you participate, if you are not drawing into relationship with others there, you are missing out on the importance of “we” to a spiritual growth. It is a bit like saying you live in a “neighborhood,” but don’t know any of your neighbors.  People come to meetings so that they don’t drink.  Then they leave, talk to no one.  They don’t drink, but they don’t become spiritually fit.  They don’t connect with others in the room except as an identity, “recovering alcoholic.”  Recovery is a lot more than not drinking.   

Mistakes

 We all make mistakes.  The hope is that we learn from them and don’t continue to make the same mistakes.  That does not mean a mistake free life from then on.  The hope is that the mistakes we will make in the future will be new ones.  Someone in recovery or who joins a church does not become mistake free by the practice.  A recovering drunk may no longer drink one day at a time, but that does not make them perfect.  May the power of new mistakes be minimal enough so that they can be useful in service to others with love and compassion.  No one going to church is a saint.  Well, maybe the priest is.  Or am I delusional?  See, I am not yet perfect.  

The Desert

If you find yourself in the desert of your spiritual life who will lead you out?  Not someone who has never been there.  A guide is useless who has never been on the journey.  You will be lead out by someone who has been in their own spiritual desert.  The desert of prayer is when you feel lost, lonely, abandoned, without those good feeling buzzes, empty and dry.  God is not absent, but the feeling sure has absence all about it.  Stay with it because it is the prelude to you being of service someday to someone who is there for the first time or first few times.  You can become their guide.  So don’t talk about how wonderful prayer is.  Not unless you include your own desert times.  The lost need to hear this.  

Saint of Relapse

 Mary Magdalene, the person who first announced that Jesus was risen, is the saint of relapse.  She was saved from seven devils it says in the Gospel.  That is, she was saved seven times from something she could not get rid of by her own power.  She kept relapsing until she didn’t.  After seven times falling back into here addictive behavior, she won out and became quite a person committed to transformation by listening and practicing what her guide, Jesus, told her and did by his own example.  She became selflessly loving and loyal.  She was of service to Jesus by keeping him company while he died an agonizing death on a cross.  So if you keep relapsing, she has your back.  There is always hope, as long as you are still alive.  

Angel Monday

This is Monday of the Angel.  Yesterday was Easter Sunday.  Someone had to announce, “He is Risen!” Or else no one would know what is going on in the cemetery where Jesus was buried.  The angel does a singular job and then disappears from the scene.  The angel was of central service for a singular moment.  I keep that in mind when I am needed for something.  It is not all about me.  Show up for what is needed, do it, and then let go of being a focal point.  The angel did a very important and central task but did not get a big ego about it.  A good example of humility, responsibility, and anonymity.  I did important things in church the last several days but now I can return to anonymity.  I try to keep “being needed” separate from “being important.”  But maybe I will get a day named for me! 

Connection

 People can drive drunk and they can drive sober.  The choice involves a feeling of connection.  The sober person sees a red light and stops.  They feel a connection with the person on the street who sees the “Walk” sign is begins to cross the street.  The drunk sees no connection with a person, but only a connection to get that next drink or get to that next place so that they can “fix” their life.  If I am stressed and get behind the wheel, I remind myself first that I am not the only person trying to get somewhere to do something.  It keeps me connected.  I am sure the walker and other drivers are better off for this brief pause.  

The Bonnet

 Happy Easter!  I will celebrate it in my way.  May I suggest you ladies think about today being the day of the “Bonnet?”  Yes, wear a hat today to celebrate Easter.  If you tune up the movie, “Easter Bonnet” or the song of that name, you will see that women walked down the NY Avenue on Easter with their Easter hats.  They always walked with a man in the movies.  But this is a different time.  You can go it alone.  I will look around for a special hat for myself in my closet.  And if someone inquires, “Why the Hat?” Just say it is Easter.  Of course if you wear a hat it won’t quite fit in with jeans and a tee shirt.  What special clothes will I wear today inside church and out on a walk along a San Francisco street?