The Real Workers

When Jesus told his disciples to go and prepare the table for the Last Supper, how many fisherman or any man for that matter, do you know who could/would set a table and prepare an elaborate feast such as a Passover?  So, disciples includes women.  Women were at the last supper, just like women are the ones who prepare altars and churches for any major feast day.  Rarely do I see a priest do any of the set up.  So how is it that women get whited out of the Last Supper scene?  There would have been no Last Supper and no church as we have it today without women.

Expectations

I am standing in the kitchen of our San Francisco rectory this evening eating some light supper by myself.  I am upset.  Why?  There is no cook tonight.  She took the day off.  I expected someone to cook supper for me.  Next week I will be standing in the kitchen of a monastery in the evening eating some supper by myself.  I will not be upset.  Why?  There is never a cook for the evening meal in the monastery.  You are on your own.  Same scene in two different places, but I am upset in only one of the scenes.  Why?  Because in the rectory I expect a cook and in the monastery I do not expect a cook.

I am upset because of my expectations.  I am perfectly capable of fending for myself in a kitchen.  The cook is not the problem.  I am.  Maybe I should change?

A Start

What if you woke up in the morning and said, "God please help me today?"  That would be a nice short prayer.  Then you would know you are never alone through the day.  It also starts out the day with an attitude of humility.  Do you really think you can do life alone?  I can't.

Heights

I have a fear of heights.  I went to a Giants baseball game with a friend.  He bought the tickets.  We were up in the steeply graded third deck.  I practically crawled to my seat looking straight at the ground in front of me.  When I sat down and turned to look down at the field, way down, I said, "I won't go the the bathroom or get anything to eat this game." Gradually, inning by inning I became more comfortable at this height.  I even stood up after five innings to stretch.  I felt at ease when we left the game at the end.  I did not feel like I was going to leap off the edge. The longer I was at this height, the more comfortable and less frightened I became.

Is it not the same way in other areas of our life?  A bad deed may bother us at first.  But if we repeat it enough it becomes a habit that seems "OK" to do, or at least does not bother us so much.  The same with a good deed.  Good habits become easier over time.  When I first decide to make a change in my prayer life, it seems difficult.  "I am going to sit in silence."  A few minutes seems interminable.  Over time, it seems to get easier, and time passes more quickly, in spite of the ups and downs of moods.  Any change seems difficult at first, does it not?  But then it is all relative, like a great height, that becomes more level over time.  Oh, I never did go to the bathroom or the concession stand.  But my Giants won!

A Good Deed

I went to the airport to pick up an old priest.  I timed my pull up to the arrivals curb so that he might be there, but he was not.  I went around four more times.  No priest.  I called the house.  No one had heard from him.  I parked and went into the terminal.  No priest.  My cell rang.  He was home.  He came out to the curb, saw no one, used a stranger's phone to call me but left no message, and then took a limo service home.

The first thought was to curse the womb that bore him.  The next thought was of how I had wasted my morning.  These are just thoughts.  They do not need any attention nor control.  Had I not still done a kindly deed?  He had gotten home safely.  Just because the results of my efforts did not work out as I expected or wanted, it was still a kindly deed.  I had spent the morning doing a kindness.  Enjoy the effort.  Plus, I had learned a lot about driving around an airport with which I am unfamiliar.

The effort to do good can come from love or kindness or compassion.  The anger at the results or outcome is simply an ego bruised.

In The Dumps

I was feeling in the dumps about one thing or another.  I was feeling useless.  OK, I was into self-pity!  I left my room to go to the church bookstore around the corner to see what new books might have come in since last I was there.  I remember asking God for "Mercy".  I wanted some divine intervention.  When I got to the store the titles that I saw first were those of books that spoke about "Gratitude" or "Gratefulness" for our life.  Divine intervention came through for sure.

I felt an immediate pick-me-up.  I felt the gift of gratitude for my life.  Same life before I came into the store, but seen from a new angle.  God can do that sometimes, surprise me with the obvious!

The Visitation

May 31 is the Feast of the Visitation of Mary to her cousin Elizabeth, both of whom are pregnant.  Mary goes to be with her elderly cousin, to be of assistance.  So I went to visit a sick friend in the hospital.  I decided to take public transportation.  I had never been to this hospital.  I took the train and then found a bus at the station that took me right to the hospital.  I found my friend.  We visited for a while.  I felt good.  My fiend was glad I came.  Good deeds can do that. I had not gotten lost.  Then came unexpected gifts.

As I sat outside the hospital at the bus stop, after visiting with my friend, I called an old friend who lived in town but was busy with his mother that day.  It turns out that he was a ten minute walk from the hospital, waiting for his mom to finish having her hair done.  So we had lunch together with his mom.  I thought I would not be able to see his wife who was off on some other tasks.  As we left the parking lot to go the the train station, we spotted her car in the lot and  took a chance that she was having her nails done.  She was.  So I got to say hello to her too.  I went out to do a good deed and so much more came my way.  The best good things are always the unexpected ones, don't you think?