Suffering

Outsiders have the false notion that what brings addictive people together to work on their issues is the addiction.  Alcoholism brings alcoholics together.  Not so.  When acting out their addiction, alcoholics were lots of times with others who were just like them.  But they were "alone with others."  What brings addictive people together to work on their addiction, to keep it at bay, is suffering.  They share a common suffering.  Keep this in mind whenever you are in a group that is trying to get better, to improve, become transformed even.  It could be a church, a gym, yoga group, quilt makers, not to mention grief support and twelve step programs.  There is the presenting reason, and the deeper pain. I try to work on the deeper pain.  It keeps me connected to others.  Don't write off desperation either.  It can be the road to action.

Self Forgiveness

If I forgave others the way that I forgive myself, few people would be forgiven anything.  I would be constantly upset with them.  I find it so much more difficult to forgive me than to forgive others.  It is a sin of false pride.  I should be better than I am relative to others.  They can mess up, but I cannot.  They can be human, with faults and failings, bad habits that I accept or forgive, but I cannot be so human, or have faults or bad habits.  Some days my life can be such a drag.  Trying to be perfect is not easy.  When God made Adam, God said, "It is good."  God never said Adam was perfect.  I seem to expect myself to be better than God's creation, to improve upon God.  Pride.  One of the seven deadly sins is often unnoticed.

On The Margins

The Pope says that we should love people on the margins.  What is a margin?  People who feel that they don't fit in, who feel outside of acceptable society, feel they are different in not so good a way, feel lonely, who rarely feel included or rarely want to be included.  These are just some examples.  Such people are in twelve step rooms, shelters for the homeless, soup kitchens, workplaces and churches.  Some of them I find it easy to identify, but some not.  Having a pleasant appearance, a job, good grades, rewards and recognition  can be a cover.  Living on the "margin" takes many forms.  I try to be careful that I do not ignore people or brush them off.  But sometimes I am on the margin in my own life.  The wall goes up.  It is a thin wall, usually with a sign up that says, "NO." It really means, "Ask again."  My friends have figured that out.  For this, I am blessed.  

Fear

I grew up in the Bronx which is part of New York City.  Outside of my little neighborhood, school, church, Mom and Pop stores, local movie theatre, I rarely went anywhere else.  It never occurred to me.  Occasionally, Mom would take me shopping with her.  It was still the Bronx and I would stay close to her.  When I got older, I found out that other children actually went to Manhattan, to museums, theaters, live entertainment, parks and famous New York City sights.  It was when I began to realize that I was a bit of a fear-based kid.  What I do now to overcome it, is research a city when I live there or near to a city.  I find out what is going on in museums, theaters/shows, and sights.  I find out how public transportation works to get me around.  And I don't wait to find someone to accompany me.  It is nice at times if someone does go with me, but I don't wait around for their schedule to open up.  With today's computer apps it is rather easy to figure out a lot of things about a city and how to maneuver around in it.  I ask questions too.  Sometimes I find that I know a lot more about a city than people who have lived there a long time.  Fear hides itself behind a lot of excuses.

Like A Child

One of the first things a child loses as it grows up is the ability to forgive easily.  Before adolescence, they might be disappointed in a relative"s or teachers's behavior, but will readily forgive.  The child is  ever hopeful at this stage.  The adult is precious to them.  Adult bad behavior does not change this optimism.  As we grow, such hope and ready forgiveness gives way to resentment, cynicism, escape and pessimism.  Maybe that is why Jesus and the spiritually wise people suggested that we be like a child.  "You must become like little children," is pretty clear wisdom.   People will disappoint, but a lot of our misery is our response as time goes on.

Skin Present

If you are with someone who has lost the use of their mind, as with Alzheimer, you might think that they don't even know you are there, much less that you care about them.  Try touching them, as in holding their hand.  Their mind might be gone, but the skin might be very much in touch with your presence.  No words, just touch is the way to show you care.  Now there are times when you, who think you have full use of your mind, know that someone is talking to you, but you do not listen.  You could tune in, but you don't for any number of reasons.  I suspect that if they stopped talking and just held your hand, it might awaken your attention.  Words are not all they are cracked up to be.  The mind drifts, races about and gets over loaded.  The skin is more often in the present moment.  Maybe that is why people often show love by feeding us.  We eat of their presence in taste, and the aroma of food.

Super Bowl

While many of you will be getting caught up in SuperBowl buzz next February, there will be a group of nuns there trying to heighten awareness and prevent sex trafficking.  Apparently, this is a big thing at all the hotel venues in the SuperBowl area.  This year the SuperBowl will be right outside of San Francisco.  I am clueless about all this, but no more, thanks to women religious who once again are on the front lines to help those enslaved to this business.  Lots of young children are involved in this.  So, while you are praying for your team to win, you might add a much more important prayer for all the victims of this very profitable business.