False Front

If I present to others a "false front" as in hiding what is really going on with me, I will not have good friends.  I may have admirers, or fans, or people with whom I share some common interest, such as sports.  I fear two things: one is that if I tell them what is really going on, they will not like me, or be my friend, and two: the pressure of always remembering which false front I presented to whom.  So I try not to present a false front that makes things better than they are.  But I do tend to present a false front that makes things worse than they are, maybe for sympathy.  I say such things as, "My life is in ruins."  "I am a failure."  "I am so stupid."  "I have no friends."  "The world hates me."  "No one cares."  Don't many of us present ourselves as better or worse than reality?  Do we want to bypass what we are really feeling?  Do we even know?  As long as I have some spiritual connection, however I get it, I will tend to stay in the "Real."  My blog is my way of trying to stay honest and real on a daily basis.  Someone called me, "Your Realness."  I like that!