Pleasure

I hear about the prayer of "letting go," "surrender," "renounce" and such as that.  Let go of what? The pleasure of enjoying prayer?  Well, if letting go is good, then you first have to have the pleasure.  So don't feel guilty when you read the surrender literature about prayer.  It is for the adepts, and if you ever get taken there, you will find surrender to make sense.  But first you have to have the pleasure.  So enjoy whatever spiritual practice you are doing.  It means you are where you are supposed to be.  You found a practice that makes you feel good, or at least better than if you did nothing, which is what you probably did when you lived a life of insanity.  Prayer that makes you feel miserable, loveless and energy depleted?  I would find another prayer way that makes you feel better.  Yeh for pleasure in prayer.