Becoming

I have a problem with the word, “retirement,” as to myself.  If I am retired that my identity is “Who I was,” or “What I used to do.”  When we are young we might ask, “Who am I?”  I know I did that when trying to figure out what to do with my life, or work, or career.  But I have found that the better question is, “Who am I becoming.”  There ought to be no retirement in becoming.  It is ongoing for me.  It may end in death, or maybe not.  At the monastery, seemingly doing nothing, I am not doing nothing.  I am still “becoming” which means stay open to the present and to Grace.  Meditation is not to figure things out, but rather to stay open to the present where The Power lives, in me.  I learn a lot on my techie devices, in cyber space, but nothing of “becoming” and its dynamic power.  Wi-Fi connects me to the world events, but not to me.  I am still a “becoming event.”