The Gap

There often seems to be a gap between a need I have and my capacity to fill that need.  Without a spiritual path, turning it over, surrender, letting go, acceptance, meditation, I will fill in that gap with inadequate stuff.  The gap will remain but I will have more stuff, things, or a hangover.  When my self-will runs riot in trying to fit my needs beyond my capacity, I end up with failure.  Now I have failure and unfulfilled needs.  I end up also with fear and discontent.  So I follow my daily meditation and spiritual reading, and try to be helpful to others.  The gap seems to go away, fulfilled or not.  The gap might have been for more esteem, security, power and control.  Somehow I seems to have enough on a daily basis of spiritual steps.