Who I Am

 I discover who I am by gradually discovering who I am not.  Meditation may help here.  I get insights about past choices that are still part of my life.  For instance, did I choose a career, a way of life, a relationship because it felt safe? Gave me a sense of power and control? Made me feel acceptable in choosing this rather than that as my work?  Or was it all about self-promotion?  In meditation I might get an inspiration now and again, or maybe during the day, or when I go to bed at night, that what I chose or am doing is not really me.  Why this insight?  Because I come to realize my motives, my fears, selfishness, self-promotion, sense of deep unhappiness with my solutions to life.  This can happen in recovery programs where it is said, “What needs to change is everything.”