Expectation

There are some things you cannot change.  They are going to happen anyway, regardless of your preferences.  Yes, miracles in behavior change do happen, but they are miracles, that is, rare.  So I try to keep the daily expectation to accept the things I cannot change.  And maybe  God does not care to change either.  Why let annoyances be your primary emotion for the day?   

Do Not Disturb

Sometimes we think that God does not care because we get no response to our prayers, entreaties, spiritual wants.  Did you never get a “Do Not Disturb” sign or put one out on a door?  It means not now, but later.  God is at work but maybe not on your timeline.  We lack faith and hope.  People say they believe until they don’t get what they want.  God no longer exists once this Power no longer lives on our timeline.   The next time you put the “Do Not Disturb” tag on your hotel door or phone, say a thank you prayer to God for the hope and faith you might still have.  

The Patient

 I try to remember that in giving spiritual path advice, I am always the patient, never the doctor or healer.  It keeps me in touch with humility.  That I have any spiritual life is a gift more than something learned.  I can sometimes falsely think that if I do this I will get that, something gained on my own power.  So I simply tell people what I do, or what I did that did not work, rather than tell them what they “should” do to obtain some sense of healing.  And I tell them I have found a Power that is not me.  Connection rather than isolation is key.  

Fast Or Far

 As the saying goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go with others.  I have found this to be true in several areas of my life.  I can run all out by myself, but if I want to improve my stamina and distance running pace, I need to train with others.  I make a commitment to show up not only for me but for the “team.”  I always feel better when I go to church and there are others at mass, equally interested as I am.  Church is community.  It needs plural.  Recovery is the same way.  No one recovers their sanity from addiction alone.  You may stop the addition alone, for a time, but inevitably you don’t go far in recovery.  You need the group, the meetings, the contact on a regular basis.  

Priority

 Sometimes when people stop their active addiction to something, drugs, and alcohol, for instance, they have more energy and time for their job, and so they skip recovery time and practice, become a dry drunk and work like a maniac. It never works. Job work only works if you are actively working the program of recovery.  To not drink does not make you sober.  It just keeps you insane while getting paid for it.  

More And Less

 If you have found your purpose in life, not your job or hobby, then you find that you want to do more and more.  That is why people who have a deep spiritual life seem to be very giving.  They appear always to be working at their purpose, but there are times you do not see, and even while they are working, they practice a deep spiritual connection.  Prayer and meditation is both private and going on even while we work for some people.  I am careful not to make my job my entire focus.  

One Swing At A TIme

Still on golf, each day is like one swing at a time.  I am never sure of the results, because each day is different, like each golf shot situation.  When I wake up, I do not expect today to be like yesterday.  Today has its own character.  My spiritual life is to practice the inner journey so that I can respond to whatever arises each day in my life.  You go out to play golf and expect to shoot in the low 80s, and you barely break 100.  What happened?  If you are not prepared for the unexpected, your golf equipment might be at the bottom of a lake or in a trash bin.  You are that irate.  The life of golf cannot be lived on your terms.  Stuff happens.  Enjoy what you can and accept what you cannot seem to control that day.  

The Moment

 Golf is a wonderful sport or endeavor for staying in the moment.  You will hit the ball as much as a 100 times or more in the course of the 18 holes.  Each swing, you think only about that swing.  Golf keeps you in the moment.  Before you attempt to swing at the ball you may be thinking ahead or behind.  But once you address that ball, put your club behind the ball, you are focused on that shot alone.  And sometimes you end up playing with people with whom you would not ordinarily mix.  And it is a game full of pauses, so you get to talk to people outside your normal social range.  I am of service to other golfers by not playing since I am so bad I would ruin their rhythm.  

Active Rest

 In meditation, rest requires effort.  Why?  Because continual surrender is difficult and this is what we are trying to do in meditation.  We are not problem solving or having an active chat with God.  It is work to let go and just be.  If we are trying to get something, some result, out of our own devising or effort, then we are not going into deep meditation.  Wanting to feel good, or get “results” is not deep meditation.  When God wants us to know something, that will be God’s doing.  Wait. Be still.  

Change Who?

 I remember when my prayers were to change God and not to change me.  The god of that understanding was to do my bidding if I just said the right prayers or enough prayers.  Whenever something went my selfish and fear-based way, I thought I had God figured out.  Never occurred to me that the Spiritual Power was being merciful and patient with my shallowness.  Eventually, slowly but surely life goes downhill, so slowly it goes somewhat unnoticed.  But when the tipping point is reached I survived because I realized that now my prayers were to change me.  God was just fine.  Thy will, not mine be done.  

Freely

 What is Free Love?  It is when you love without expecting gratitude.  If you love to gain leverage, that too is NOT Love.  If you are keeping score, that is not love.  Such motives only bring resentments because we can never get enough payback.  And sometimes loving freely means not giving people what they want.  We are free to accept criticism from people who just want their addiction refueled.  As we grow spiritually, we realize that more and more we feel better loving freely without any need for a particular response.  

Stories

 Stories are what help people to relate, to be brought into the orbit of the story-teller.  That is why there are stories in the Bible, the Big Book, the Grapevine, and numerous other spiritual writings.  People are not initially attracted to techniques, rules, beliefs, traditions unless there is a personal story that goes with it.  I tend to tell a bit of my own story in a homily or teaching.  Some say this is trash and not what I am supposed to be doing in preaching.  Yet I have found that people will catch my attention with a personal story.  In Recovery gatherings, it is often a story that gets the attention of a newcomer.  Many people don’t even know that they are looking for a spiritual connection.  They do know they are feeling isolated, overwhelmed and maybe a bit lost.  Stories give us hope that there is a solution.  

The Two “S” Walk

One of the ways that I live a balanced day is with Solitude and Service.  It is the two “S” way for me.  I need quiet time alone in prayer and meditation.  Not a cameo, but I good block of time.  This time in solitude builds grace upon grace from my God, Power, so that I can selflessly and pleasantly be of service to others.  Too much of one could drift into isolation.  Two much of the other can result in resentment, whining and self-pity.  So I try to keep a balance.  This way I can adjust to life as it shows up any one day.  If an unexpected outside need arises before I pray, well, let’s hope I have some spiritual reserves.  

Negative Thinking

 When we think negatively about a situation or persons, we most often end up simply punishing ourself.  It is a bit like saying, “ I won’t eat with these people because they are thus and so.”  So we don’t eat and they don’t change.  What appears as the easier softer way often ends up badly for us.  The seemingly bad behavior of others, that is, behavior with which we disagree, can be a grace in our life.  How?  By challenging us to accept life on life’s terms.  What we call negative, short of life-threatening, may be the best that others can do at the moment.  We are not walking in their shoes.  When I stay in my spiritual lane, I am more balanced, patient and accepting.  

Ashes

 Today is Ash Wednesday.  We are a divided nation right now, but one thing that unites us is that we are all sinners.  If you don’t like the word “sin” then call it imperfections or shortcomings that don’t seem to go away completely.  So go get ashes today and wear them on your forehead as you go about your day.  It is a time to admit publicly that you are imperfect.  Today you don’t “fix yourself up” to look good, and wearing those ashes might remind someone that it is Ash Wednesday and they might want to go get ashes too.  In Recovery meetings people of all walks of life admit their imperfections.  It is what unites them.  

Consequences

 When we self-destruct, we suffer consequences.  Bad things happen.  We lose people, places, and things.  But if we don’t lose our life, consequences can become a Grace.  Consequences can bring us to give up our self-destructive life, that is probably destroying others as well, and seek a solution.  I have seen people who have joined recovery group processes, and church communities driven there by consequences due to bad behavior.  So when bad stuff happens to me, I have to ask myself, “Is this a consequence of my behavior?  If so, what can I do about it.”  Surrender is an option.  Consequences are a certainty of bad behavior.  

A Covenant

 In “A Covenant of Water,” a novel written by Abraham Verghese, a lot of bad things happen to people, and a lot of belief in a God or Power is dropped.  Gods are supposed to make things go my way, which is always seen as a good way.  There seems to be physical “Conditions,” that reveal an imperfect world, that is, the real world.  There is one woman throughout most of the book who never stops believing in spite of all the sad things that happen.  She is a Connector. And she shows up, a twelve year old, at first being married to a man she has never met who is 40.  But the book reveals that we are all One, a Covenant Connection, that not even a thin window can separate us.  What holds us together is love, not everything going our way.  

Action

Jesus Christ proclaims the Kingdom of God.  Many followers think it is their job to tell people about the kingdom.  But notice what Jesus does when he heals.  He heals a leper.  It is physical healing, but that might be all.  In other words, the now former leper has a chance for a much better life in the community.  Jesus counsels him to tell no one.  That is, talk is cheap.  Rather, reveal healing by action, in this case, to go to the temple and offer sacrifice.   The very action of temple sacrifice reveals that this former crippled person can now do things with his hands.  And it shows that he is still a believer in his religion.  The point?  Action reveals a lot more than words.  It is the same with people who have the miracle of recovery from addition.  Words are less convincing than action.  Action deepens the recovery more than talking about what happened.  People are more convinced by what they see than by what they hear.  

What You Have

 When a searcher comes into a new group, congregation, who are on a spiritual path in their own search for a fuller life, the newcomer might be very skeptical and standoffish.  Everyone seems kind of “weird.”  The newcomer is there physically but standing off with some judgment.  I often can tell if they are engaged or not.  So what to do?  I have learned one quip.  Say to that person, “You may not want what we have, but do you want what you have?”  It worked for me when I came back to my spiritual path practice.  And have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

First Things

 When someone comes into my church or to a meeting for the first time, as searchers, I don’t try to win their trust.  That would take quite more than one visit.  I recognize them as new and searching.  They are not tourists looking for information.  A searcher has a hole in their soul, their life, and it is a deep enough wound to bring them here.  One thing may get them to come back.  It is not good coffee or a treat, or friendliness.  They probably don’t do friendliness with strangers very well.  What will bring them back is HOPE.  They have to hear a message that gives them hope, that whatever we have, might be a solution for them.  

Daily Routine

Why do I make my bed each morning when I get up?  It helps my self-esteem.  I have accomplished something I set out to do each day.  It then gives me some self-esteem.  And my room looks neater.  This prepares me for other things I say I am going to do each day, such as pray (coffee first) and meditate, or jog and then pray.  I want to be on the early road to completing  things.  It is a good way to start the day.  

Adjustments

 If I have a goal, I have to adjust my behavior, my lifestyle to line up with that goal.  If I want to run a race, I have to train.  If I am going to be a regular blogger, then I have to set aside time to read, think, pray and come up with blogs each day.  This is sane living.  Insane living is when I would change my goal to fit my lifestyle.  I mean a lifestyle chosen, not forced into.  Aging changes us as does illness and so goals change.  But when I have the choice I know sanity from insanity.  So far, I still blog.  Subject to sane lifestyle.  Living a lifestyle of “No one cares,” self-pity, would change m goal of being a daily blogger.  So far I am sane…but I have my days.  Don’t let those days win out.  

Belief

 I am forever running into people who say they were brought up this or that religion, but are now atheists or non-believers.  As they tell their story, they acted in very selfish and unloving ways in their past, well still unsettled in their beliefs about Deity or Power.  Then they tell how they recovered a better way of living, becoming much more loving but now a non-believer.  What they don’t believe in and used to believe in is God as an idea, a doctrine, dogma.  But they are now very loving and loyal people.  They believe in love, and God is Love, a verb and not a noun.  I also meet people who say they do believe in God, but are quite selfish and self-centered, focused on money, power, fame, themself.  An idea won’t make you a better, more loving person.  A Power, an energy, will.  

Beginner

 Some people chaff at the thought of being a beginner in some practice that would improve their life, the benefit of themself and others.  If they have been at a practice a long time they begin to think of themselves as some sort of adept, and better than.  Well, I try to avoid this.  What is the opposite of beginner?  Being at the end.  Do you really want to be at the end of anything.  Life is short enough.  

Sanity

 Do you or did you ever feel like you lacked sanity in your behavior?  And then you changed for the better?  Well that is what we call, “Going Sane.”  When I wake up in the morning I assume my fall back position will be insanity.  Left to my own devices, without a spiritual practice, God, Power greater than me, I will act insanely.  So I do things early, that are part of my spiritual practice and call it part of “going sane.”  It does not mean perfection.  That would be delusional.  Just staying out of my own way sometimes is sanity.  

Lubricant

What is your social lubricant?  That is, what do you use or feel you need to fit into a group situation, a social event?  It might be hair, clothes, fitness, alcohol, pill or powder, money, job or title.  If fitting in becomes full of too much anxiety you might soon make your lubricant a wedge that keeps you separate.  Instead of a drink, you get intoxicated.  A little perfume becomes everyone moving away from you or opening windows!  And so on.  Moderation separates lubricants from wedges.  Or maybe someday with inner work, you won’t feel the anxiety about fitting in.  And maybe the group was not for you in the first place.   

Gifts

It is said that giving a gift has a longer lasting feeling than receiving a gift.  I think this is so.  We are like children when we receive a gift.  We are excited and focused,  but then it passes quickly and we are on to the next buzz.  When you give a gift, the feeling last longer.  and gift giving is more mature spiritually than receiving.  It is why you don’t want people to marry too young while they see the relationship as what they can get.  It will fade all too fast.  Spiritual paths teach us to grow by learning to give, to be of service.  This is the maturity of one in recovery.  They are almost totally receivers in the beginning stages, but in time, if they are to deepen their recovery they have to learn to be of service.   

Baby Baptism

 I have done a lot of baby baptisms in my priesthood.  Squirming, crying babies is a great metaphor for what baptism is all about.  The baby is being taken out of its routine and whines about it, as do babies.  They want what they want when they want it.  Cold water on their body, fussing with their clothes is most inconvenient.  What a metaphor for the Christian way of life, the cross.  Baptism is seen by many as simply heavenly life insurance.  The way of the cross is buried.  Who would want baptism if they knew it was about sacrifice, overcoming your self-will, especially when it runs riot, being of service to others, selflessly, without whining?  For many, just going to a religious service once a week is way beyond their “busy” life.  It is the same in recovery.  If the newcomer knew what was needed down the road, they might just not bother to come in the door.  In recovery whining is acceptable for newcomers.  They are babies in non-addictive behavior.  The others, more mature in recovery, are of service to help the newcomer to grow up.  

Example

 Often I run into people who say that they changed churches or recovery meetings because the church or meeting did not have what they wanted.  It was not being done “the right way.”  So they find a place where everyone is pretty much like them.  So who witnesses the right way to those who are on the so called “wrong way?”  Rather than judge a group, I think, for me, I want to be of service.  So I go where people do things differently than I prefer.  By my manner and practice I am an example of a different way.  Is it uncomfortable? Yes. But then being of service is such.  For Christians, we are people of the cross, not the softer, easier way. 

Hidden Growth

You might look at a tree over a period of time, a young tree, and see that it is not growing upwards all that fast.  Why can you not see more growth?  Well, the tree is growing, but not so as you can see it.  It is growing deeper roots, more connected with other trees around it.  You cannot see this.  Eventually, with deeper roots, the tree will manifest growth and become quite robust and useful to nature.  So it is with meditation.  You and others may see nothing much for a while.  You think it is but a waste of time.  You seem to be the same ole, same ole.  But consistency in practice is the digging of roots.  In time, not your ego’s time, you will blossom and be of service to others.  All training for a goal takes patience and consistent practice.  Ask any successful runner.   

Pilgrimage

 I am too selfish and self-centered to be of much use to others unless I undertake the secret pilgrimage of interior surrender.  Surrender to what or whom?  To an energy, Power, God, who can lead me through my faults and free me from them on a daily basis.  My faults don’t go away, but they can cease to control me on a daily basis if I practice prayer and meditation.  I blog with all this advice and “wisdom” because I read, pray and meditate, not because I am so perfect.  Far from it.  The delusional me forgets my shortcomings and with that forgets my spiritual path.  Chaos develops for me and others quite quickly.  If my blogs don’t help you, they help me for which I am most grateful, as are those around me.  

Peace

 There are two kinds of peace.  There is negative peace.  This is where we don’t have war or battle with one another.  This might be us and China.  But there is also positive peace.  This is where we seek the flourishing of others that we might otherwise battle.  Christians used to kill one another over religious differences.  Now we don’t. We have negative peace.  But if we help one another to flourish then we have positive peace.  I recall a born again church community in Vero Beach, Florida who offered the use of their building for Catholic mass while the new Catholic parish was constructing its own church building.  This is active peace.  You walk into an Addiction recovery meeting and see or hear a person you don’t like, you don’t punch them in the face.  This is negative peace.  But if you go up and introduce yourself and then offer to be of some service in their recovery, that is active peace.  

Boundaries

 When you feel stressed or tired, you tend to set boundaries to protect yourself from going over the edge.  “I won’t do this or that now.”  Often you try to be alone to protect yourself from more stress.  But love always takes us beyond our set boundary.  We don’t always feel like loving or being loving.  By our own power, we generally get cranky in such a situation.  A working Mom might be an example.  A drunk in recovery is an example.  So don’t try being a loving person all on your own power when stressed.  The spiritual path of prayer is so that we can connect with some Power we otherwise don’t possess.  This Power, I call God, allows us to be loving beyond our boundary.  Yes, it is a miracle.  The spiritual path is a miracle in action.  

Crazy Lady

 The Bible praises a “crazy lady.”  Her name is Anna.  She is a widow, old, poor, and discovers her savior.  She goes about telling everyone.  She bothers people with her solution to a full life.  I think of poor, elderly women coming up to me and telling me all about their saving discovery.  I judge them as ‘Crazy Lady.”  How narrow minded I am.  Her type is in a Holy Book.  I bet Bill Wilson was thought to be crazy by many when he told everyone about his solution to alcoholism practice.  God does not always speak to me in my comfort zone.  Any crazy ladies reading my blogs?

The Bottle

 As the joke goes, “Two people are crawling across the floor.  One is a baby going for their bottle.  The other is a drunk going for their bottle.”  Well, the baby has the instinct to grow up and wants its nourishment.  Maybe no one is paying attention to the baby at that moment, so the bottle is on the floor.  The baby might be neglected for one reason or another that is simply life on life’s terms.  But the baby takes control.  The drunk on the other hand has no interest in growing up.  Oblivion is sought.  Maybe the drinking binges started because the drunk has a history of being ignored or neglected.  Oblivion became the solution.  Sobriety is about growing up, and it starts with a simple crawl.  One crawl at a time until you get on your feet.  Then you begin to help rather than blame others.  

Growing Up

 The phrase, “Growing Up,”  is about development and that can take effort, be painful.  When our evolution brought us to learn to stand and walk, it became much harder for women to give birth.  The canal got smaller and the brain got bigger.  The bigger brain allowed us to develop in many good ways.  But there was the price to pay in birthing.  So it is with all growing up which is why many of us prefer not to do it.  We would rather remain more infantile, selfish, dependent on drugs and alcohol for instance.  I try to remember to thank mom each day for giving me birth.  Then I try to live the best life I can, and that often takes pain and sacrifice.  Mom taught me well.  

Loving

 The phrase, “Falling In Love” is something that happens in an instant.  It is seemingly a moment in time for many.  This LOVE did not take any work.  It just happened.  Like an event happens to us.  But this kind of love is just a start.  Love is a journey more than an event.  And all journeys take time and effort.  It is a journey of discovery.  You discover yourself for one thing.  If you want to know yourself better, try loving even when you don’t feel it.  I don’t always want to be of service to others or love my neighbor, but I grow up and know myself better when I try to be loving.  Plus, I realize that I need God, a Power greater than my weak self to journey in any loving effort.  

Getting Holy

 Now and again I come across someone who says, “Father, this is what you need to do to get holy.”  The assumption, I presume, is that I am not yet holy.  Though this is correct, I take the person off my prayer list anyway.  I try not to tell people what they ought to do to get holy.  I simply tell someone what works for me.  Just as a box of assorted chocolates come in different shapes and tastes, so we are all different in some ways and the same in some ways.  All alcoholics are the same in some ways, addicted to alcohol.  But their spiritual solution practice in prayer may differ.  Find what works.  How will you know?  Your life will get lots better.  And people praying for you will be happier.  

Foot Race

 I am a a jogger and used to race to try and beat other people.  Sometimes in my spiritual practice I act like the ole runner.  Am I doing better than so and so.  But spiritual growth is not about compare and contrast.  I am not in a race to prove I am better than someone else.  When I do an examination of conscience at night before bed, I don’t compare and contrast.  I don’t say, “Well at least I am not as bad as so and so.”  Not much improvement there.  And a lot of false pride.  Sitting in a church pew or room with others I try not to look around to compare and contrast.  

The Fanatic

 It is said that a fanatic is someone who conceals a secret doubt.  So if you feel attacked for your beliefs, not to worry.  If you talk about recovery or your faith commitment make sure you witness it by your life.  Be forgiving and accepting of the attack upon your beliefs.  Many a person who said, “I don’t need that stuff,” eventually came through the door.  They remembered how you acted as well as your words.  

Faith

 A lot of non-believers in religion think that faith is all about doctrine teachings, which they reject.  But faith is about experience.  Experience is what changes a person’s life.  Hypocrisy happens when faith is only about doctrine.  It becomes very individualistic, me and my God.  But when faith is an experience then it connects, touches the heart, takes us beyond our individualistic secular culture.  God is a God for all and especially for the down and out.  Jesus was born in a manger in a cave or stable outdoors.  The Eucharist is a paucity of food, a thin wafer, that contains God.  All this, as an experience, connects us to others, especially those who are in want.  Faith drops a culture of comfort and indifference.  It picks up responsibility.  It is why vibrant worship faith groups are seen as “do-gooders.  It is the same in Recovery Programs.  Service is key to keeping the groups united and focused on a primary purpose.  A truly sober person never lives in isolation or indifference to the sufferings of others addicts.  

Pregnant Power

 I try to keep sobriety, my spiritual practice, my priesthood, pregnant with God, the Power that sustains me.  Why?  Well, pregnancy is about the time and energy to bring something to life where others can experience it.  My meditation, for instance, feeds and nourishes this inner life.  How and when is it born into the world?  When I am of service without self-promotion, egocentricity, self-focus, selfishness to name a few of my shortcomings.  Give time and energy to others.  Maybe be part of their becoming pregnant with this Power.  Then they will be of service too.  

Advent

 I look back on the four weeks before Christmas, called “Advent.”  It means Coming.  I reflect now that it was not just about Jesus coming to be born in backyard shed, though it is that.  That alone does not change me.  What I see now is that every day is an Advent for me, being of service, spiritual reading, household tasks and work done well, are all ways in which this spiritual power that I call God in Christ, seeks to come to life in me. I might say, “I am too shabby, the wrong setting, full of sin.”  And so forth.  Well even if this is so, God came into a shabby manger in a shed.  It was good enough for God, so I guess maybe I am good enough for God.  And so are you if you give this Power half a chance.  

Hell

 There is this part of the Christian Creed that says, before Jesus rose from the dead, he descended into hell.  Resurrection is a handful of belief for many, but what is this about going to hell before heaven or resurrection?  Just ask anyone who has been through a deep conversion experience from darkness, mess, onto the path of love.  A deep conversion experience is one that knows hell and has experienced their own resurrection to a new life.  They did not do it on their own.  Just ask anyone who is a recovering addict.  Not a dry or abstaining addict, but a spiritually recovering one.  Recovery is packed with spirituality.  Ask a one-time atheist or agnostic who has found a God of Power in their life and a worship place, tradition, to deepen the connection.  They all knew hell and it was there that they were found.  Now that is a powerful Power. 

The Why

I hear people say that they began to practice meditation so that they could get to know God, or whoever they think is going to show up.  There is this so-called spiritual obsession with knowing.  This attitude says, “I will believe if I know.”  But meditation is not about knowing God.  God cannot be known by thought, the mind, science.  The reason to meditate is to get out of our own way, such as the obsession to fill the mind with knowing thoughts.  We are the obstacle.  But if we can let go of all our thinking apparatus, fears and such, then we allow God, the spiritual Power, to go to work.  The Power, God, is courteous and does not force itself upon those preoccupied with knowing.   

Silence

 In meditation the sign of a presence other than yourself is given in silence.  The presence shows up as silence.  That is why we are silent in meditation.  We want to be able to hear with the “inner” ear, the Presence, Power that is always within, but obscured by our loud busyness, worry, fear, ego and such.  Silence, like any language takes time and practice.  Give it that time each day.  

A Contradiction

 A good silence that is a part of meditation, can be both empty and full.  It seems like a contradiction but this is not so.  The meditation in silence is empty because you may have your eyes closed and all is darkness.  Or it seems empty of any activity. But then something, some energy, power, sense, feeling, seems to show up and fills the emptiness.  I have found this to be so.  What I bring to the process is patience.  Wait.  I don’t make the empty and I don’t make the full.  

Advice Giving

 I don’t bother telling people what they should do.  It is only my opinion.  So I simply tell them what I did and how it worked.  For instance, if I think someone would benefit from more exercise I don’t tell them that.  I tell them of my condition before I began to exercise, what program of exercise I did, and what happened.  I try to become an example.  I tell them of days I did not want to exercise and how I found some force or power to get me to say yes instead of no.  If I think someone would benefit from a conversion experience, I tell them mine and let that be it.  If I have no experience with something then where is my “opinion” coming from.  It’s like one drunk telling another at the bar late into the night that they should stop drinking.  

The One Step

 You hear the phrase “Step outside of the box.”  It seems to indicate a different way of living from a norm.  Well, some people on a so called spiritual path will put one foot outside the box but not the other.  Christians for instance say that Jesus is God, as they step outside the secular world of non-belief.  But then many of these same “believers” don’t put the other foot outside the box.  They don’t follow what Jesus said.  It is one step spirituality and one gets nowhere while a foot is stuck in the box.  Recovery people think they are stepping outside the box when they stop drinking and profess they will reform.  But they don’t do the steps.  They are dry but not sober and it won’t last even that.  They kept one foot still in the box and one cannot trudge the happy road of destiny with one foot stuck in the box.  

The Wanting

 In San Francisco streets I see a lot of people who need what I have, a more sober way of life than what they are living.  I don’t get frustrated by their not choosing to change, because my sense of their need does not yet match up with their wanting it.  They are not at the point where they want to sober up.  Jail, institutions and death await them.  Rehab programs and half way houses don’t work to sober someone up if they do not yet want it enough.  Desperation can be a gift if one lives long enough and able enough to respond to it.  So I pray and gently offer help.  They are a gift to me.  They are the reminders.  

In Tandem

 On my good days I try to pray that I can handle whatever is to be that day.  I don’t ask that everything go my way.  Maybe my way is not God’s way.  I figure that God is the Power that has my back and wants the best for me.  Just because I don’t get my way all the time does not mean my life is in ruins.  It might only feel like that, but I try not to live my life simply based upon what I feel.  Sometimes feelings are a bit too much attached to self-centeredness.  God has a plan.  Trust.  And live life on God’s terms.  

The Scrappy Gift

 A parent delights when their child gives them a “gift” of a drawing on a scrap of paper.  The gift is just seemingly lines/circles/dots here and there,  somewhat random even, but a gift nonetheless.  The parent does not judge or score the gift as good or bad.  It is what the child can do and the effort of the drawing.  The parent and child recognize their common family bond in the drawing.  So it is with our meditations/prayers/spiritual practices.  We might think they are too little or not done well enough for God.  That is our adult ego at work.  God is bonded to us and delights in the effort.  No judgment or keeping score on God’s part.  Just do it.  

Worry

I like to hold onto things that help me solve problems, live a better life in service and spiritual growth.   Worry is not something to hold onto.  Worry has never really solved anything for me.  And it saps emotional energy.  So I turn it over to God.  I let it go rather than tell myself to stop worrying.  I feel God is part of the energy in my “letting go.”    Trust.  Let God worry.  People tend to hold onto stuff they don’t need or are no longer of use.  Such stuff is in their garage or their fearful heart.  Bad places for storage of such stuff.  It is not that I don’t try to solve problems.  It is just that I don’t worry about solving problems.  Saves energy so I can write blogs.  

Fitness

I do a lot of regular physical fitness things.  Some weights and walk/jog, elliptical, spin bike, that sought of stuff.  But when I die it won’t really matter how fit my body was.  So I don’t replace prayer with exercise, or work, or social engagements.  Prayer must have a high daily priority in my life.  If there is an “eternal after-this-life,” my fit body won’t be much use for that journey.  Prayer is my spiritual gym.  

Talk Is Cheap

 I have heard someone say, “ I wish I were as good a speaker as so and so,” in a meeting.  I sometimes feel like that when listening to someone preach.  But I keep in mind that I sometimes can sound quite good, but in fact am not “walking the walk” all that well.  Talk is cheap, as they say.  Progress, not words or thoughts well put together, is important.  So I work on my progress and try not to worry about how I speak in public.  Spiritual progress can have a lot of silence and very few words.  Progress is action.  

Sandbox

 When I was small my Mom used to take me to the sandbox in a nearby Bronx Park.  I loved the sandbox.  So much fun and things to do and other kids with whom to do them.  The “sandbox” time reminded me that everything was new and interesting, worth exploring.  Then I got older and lost that simple sense of awe in everyday life.  I took things for granted.  Less awe.  The sandbox would always be there as would the tree or the flower…until they weren’t.  Recovery and the spiritual path can be like that, awesome at first, discovering new things and people.  Then we “grow up.” We get too busy.  We take things a bit for granted, like recovery and a spiritual journey grown tepid, lukewarm, and then…not there.  Who left?  

Adding Up

When I go walking or jogging, I can see the distance I have traveled or I can record it on my iWatch app.  So I get a sense of accomplishment and a good physical feeling from the exercise.  But the inner journey is not so easy to record “progress.”  I sit in meditation for a half hour.  Sometimes feel better, sometimes bored or restless.  Am I making any progress?  How do I know?  My watch is useless except to say how long I have been reading spiritual literature or whatever the inner journey work is.  No single time tells me much, but over time, with consistency, I see progress.  It is how I begin to live my life more virtuously.  

Suggestions

 Someone suggested once a long time ago that I do something.  I thought since it was a ‘suggestion” I had a choice, an option.  He said I had the option of living or dying.  So I asked then why he had said it was a suggestion instead of a must?  He said, “Because you are too stubborn and insane to follow a must.”  Well, I did not want anyone to think me insane and stubborn, so I did what he “suggested.”  Later, under self-examination, another “suggestion,” I discovered I was indeed insane and stubborn.  And a lot more.  So now in my spiritual practice I take suggestions very seriously.  I suggest you do that with my blogs!!!

Snooze Button

 Do you ever find yourself hitting the snooze button when you are told to wake up?  “Wake UP” and change your life!  The snooze button says, “You are right, but not just yet.”  My thought of becoming a priest went on for some years.  I did not simply say no.  And then forget about it.  I hit the snooze button.  It puts off waking up to a new way of life.  I am the sort of person for whom big changes in life are usually preceded by the snooze button.  Some days I just force myself to show up at something, a meeting, an event, because I know that I want to press the snooze button, which will only prolong mediocrity.  I am not so much a good person as I am someone who fears the slippery slope of mediocrity.  

Listening

 What is the purpose in trying to listen in meditation?  Well, one purpose is to prepare you to be a listener for others.  Being a good listener is a gift.  People don’t always want to be told what to do to solve their problems, or not at first maybe.  They want to be heard.  It shows you care.  It takes patience even if you know what they need to do, or think you do.  Listeners learn to make “suggestions” rather than tell people they must do this or that.  And if God does not seem to give you answers bingo right now, maybe it is because God is a good listener.  And you might not be ready for a power greater than yourself.  

Me First

 If you want to be strong enough to take care of others, you need to take care of yourself first.  If the soul gets no fuel, it burns out too quickly in trying to be helpful to others.  Without some spiritual practice, reading, meditating, some exercise, our good intentions start strong but soon whither to resentment and whining.  People become a burden, rather than a gift.  Being of service becomes a weight too much to bear.  And what help are you if you do not care for yourself?  Not much of an example of healing, and recovery or practice of your faith if you ignore your own journey.  

Dark And Cold

 The warm days of summer and the colors of fall in sweater weather are gone.  Winter is strong, cold and dark.  Winter is important because it tells us to wake up when we just want to hunker down and sleep more in the long nights and cold winter mornings.  Nature tells us here in our northern clime that waking up to spiritual necessities and fullness is never easy.  It is not meant to be.  If it were, we could do it with our own power, but such a will is seemingly too weak in winter’s power.  So we need another power.  And there is one that quite possibly made the winter in the first place, as well as the other seasons in our 23 1/2 degree tilted earth facing the sun.  I meditate, sit quietly, let my thinking slow, and allow this Power to work on my weakness.  As the whining lessens, I know this Power is at work and I am becoming not just whole, but replanted for Spring growth.  

Presence

 Happy New Year!  For a New Year Resolution why not make your physical presence something you will do.  Like what?  Service work, being helpful type meetings.  Presence is a gift you always have to give.  You think you have nothing to offer?  Your presence is a value.  A new person might come in and just knowing there are other people there might encourage them that they made a good decision.  Or you might think going to church is a waste since you are not particularly holy, but just going might encourage another person who is hungering for spiritual something, that they are not crazy since someone else is there too…you.  I can go to meetings and say nothing, or “nothing much.”  That does not diminish my value.  God is in charge.