Stories

 Stories are what help people to relate, to be brought into the orbit of the story-teller.  That is why there are stories in the Bible, the Big Book, the Grapevine, and numerous other spiritual writings.  People are not initially attracted to techniques, rules, beliefs, traditions unless there is a personal story that goes with it.  I tend to tell a bit of my own story in a homily or teaching.  Some say this is trash and not what I am supposed to be doing in preaching.  Yet I have found that people will catch my attention with a personal story.  In Recovery gatherings, it is often a story that gets the attention of a newcomer.  Many people don’t even know that they are looking for a spiritual connection.  They do know they are feeling isolated, overwhelmed and maybe a bit lost.  Stories give us hope that there is a solution.  

The Two “S” Walk

One of the ways that I live a balanced day is with Solitude and Service.  It is the two “S” way for me.  I need quiet time alone in prayer and meditation.  Not a cameo, but I good block of time.  This time in solitude builds grace upon grace from my God, Power, so that I can selflessly and pleasantly be of service to others.  Too much of one could drift into isolation.  Two much of the other can result in resentment, whining and self-pity.  So I try to keep a balance.  This way I can adjust to life as it shows up any one day.  If an unexpected outside need arises before I pray, well, let’s hope I have some spiritual reserves.  

Negative Thinking

 When we think negatively about a situation or persons, we most often end up simply punishing ourself.  It is a bit like saying, “ I won’t eat with these people because they are thus and so.”  So we don’t eat and they don’t change.  What appears as the easier softer way often ends up badly for us.  The seemingly bad behavior of others, that is, behavior with which we disagree, can be a grace in our life.  How?  By challenging us to accept life on life’s terms.  What we call negative, short of life-threatening, may be the best that others can do at the moment.  We are not walking in their shoes.  When I stay in my spiritual lane, I am more balanced, patient and accepting.  

Ashes

 Today is Ash Wednesday.  We are a divided nation right now, but one thing that unites us is that we are all sinners.  If you don’t like the word “sin” then call it imperfections or shortcomings that don’t seem to go away completely.  So go get ashes today and wear them on your forehead as you go about your day.  It is a time to admit publicly that you are imperfect.  Today you don’t “fix yourself up” to look good, and wearing those ashes might remind someone that it is Ash Wednesday and they might want to go get ashes too.  In Recovery meetings people of all walks of life admit their imperfections.  It is what unites them.  

Consequences

 When we self-destruct, we suffer consequences.  Bad things happen.  We lose people, places, and things.  But if we don’t lose our life, consequences can become a Grace.  Consequences can bring us to give up our self-destructive life, that is probably destroying others as well, and seek a solution.  I have seen people who have joined recovery group processes, and church communities driven there by consequences due to bad behavior.  So when bad stuff happens to me, I have to ask myself, “Is this a consequence of my behavior?  If so, what can I do about it.”  Surrender is an option.  Consequences are a certainty of bad behavior.  

A Covenant

 In “A Covenant of Water,” a novel written by Abraham Verghese, a lot of bad things happen to people, and a lot of belief in a God or Power is dropped.  Gods are supposed to make things go my way, which is always seen as a good way.  There seems to be physical “Conditions,” that reveal an imperfect world, that is, the real world.  There is one woman throughout most of the book who never stops believing in spite of all the sad things that happen.  She is a Connector. And she shows up, a twelve year old, at first being married to a man she has never met who is 40.  But the book reveals that we are all One, a Covenant Connection, that not even a thin window can separate us.  What holds us together is love, not everything going our way.  

Action

Jesus Christ proclaims the Kingdom of God.  Many followers think it is their job to tell people about the kingdom.  But notice what Jesus does when he heals.  He heals a leper.  It is physical healing, but that might be all.  In other words, the now former leper has a chance for a much better life in the community.  Jesus counsels him to tell no one.  That is, talk is cheap.  Rather, reveal healing by action, in this case, to go to the temple and offer sacrifice.   The very action of temple sacrifice reveals that this former crippled person can now do things with his hands.  And it shows that he is still a believer in his religion.  The point?  Action reveals a lot more than words.  It is the same with people who have the miracle of recovery from addition.  Words are less convincing than action.  Action deepens the recovery more than talking about what happened.  People are more convinced by what they see than by what they hear.  

What You Have

 When a searcher comes into a new group, congregation, who are on a spiritual path in their own search for a fuller life, the newcomer might be very skeptical and standoffish.  Everyone seems kind of “weird.”  The newcomer is there physically but standing off with some judgment.  I often can tell if they are engaged or not.  So what to do?  I have learned one quip.  Say to that person, “You may not want what we have, but do you want what you have?”  It worked for me when I came back to my spiritual path practice.  And have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

First Things

 When someone comes into my church or to a meeting for the first time, as searchers, I don’t try to win their trust.  That would take quite more than one visit.  I recognize them as new and searching.  They are not tourists looking for information.  A searcher has a hole in their soul, their life, and it is a deep enough wound to bring them here.  One thing may get them to come back.  It is not good coffee or a treat, or friendliness.  They probably don’t do friendliness with strangers very well.  What will bring them back is HOPE.  They have to hear a message that gives them hope, that whatever we have, might be a solution for them.  

Daily Routine

Why do I make my bed each morning when I get up?  It helps my self-esteem.  I have accomplished something I set out to do each day.  It then gives me some self-esteem.  And my room looks neater.  This prepares me for other things I say I am going to do each day, such as pray (coffee first) and meditate, or jog and then pray.  I want to be on the early road to completing  things.  It is a good way to start the day.  

Adjustments

 If I have a goal, I have to adjust my behavior, my lifestyle to line up with that goal.  If I want to run a race, I have to train.  If I am going to be a regular blogger, then I have to set aside time to read, think, pray and come up with blogs each day.  This is sane living.  Insane living is when I would change my goal to fit my lifestyle.  I mean a lifestyle chosen, not forced into.  Aging changes us as does illness and so goals change.  But when I have the choice I know sanity from insanity.  So far, I still blog.  Subject to sane lifestyle.  Living a lifestyle of “No one cares,” self-pity, would change m goal of being a daily blogger.  So far I am sane…but I have my days.  Don’t let those days win out.  

Belief

 I am forever running into people who say they were brought up this or that religion, but are now atheists or non-believers.  As they tell their story, they acted in very selfish and unloving ways in their past, well still unsettled in their beliefs about Deity or Power.  Then they tell how they recovered a better way of living, becoming much more loving but now a non-believer.  What they don’t believe in and used to believe in is God as an idea, a doctrine, dogma.  But they are now very loving and loyal people.  They believe in love, and God is Love, a verb and not a noun.  I also meet people who say they do believe in God, but are quite selfish and self-centered, focused on money, power, fame, themself.  An idea won’t make you a better, more loving person.  A Power, an energy, will.  

Beginner

 Some people chaff at the thought of being a beginner in some practice that would improve their life, the benefit of themself and others.  If they have been at a practice a long time they begin to think of themselves as some sort of adept, and better than.  Well, I try to avoid this.  What is the opposite of beginner?  Being at the end.  Do you really want to be at the end of anything.  Life is short enough.  

Sanity

 Do you or did you ever feel like you lacked sanity in your behavior?  And then you changed for the better?  Well that is what we call, “Going Sane.”  When I wake up in the morning I assume my fall back position will be insanity.  Left to my own devices, without a spiritual practice, God, Power greater than me, I will act insanely.  So I do things early, that are part of my spiritual practice and call it part of “going sane.”  It does not mean perfection.  That would be delusional.  Just staying out of my own way sometimes is sanity.  

Lubricant

What is your social lubricant?  That is, what do you use or feel you need to fit into a group situation, a social event?  It might be hair, clothes, fitness, alcohol, pill or powder, money, job or title.  If fitting in becomes full of too much anxiety you might soon make your lubricant a wedge that keeps you separate.  Instead of a drink, you get intoxicated.  A little perfume becomes everyone moving away from you or opening windows!  And so on.  Moderation separates lubricants from wedges.  Or maybe someday with inner work, you won’t feel the anxiety about fitting in.  And maybe the group was not for you in the first place.   

Gifts

It is said that giving a gift has a longer lasting feeling than receiving a gift.  I think this is so.  We are like children when we receive a gift.  We are excited and focused,  but then it passes quickly and we are on to the next buzz.  When you give a gift, the feeling last longer.  and gift giving is more mature spiritually than receiving.  It is why you don’t want people to marry too young while they see the relationship as what they can get.  It will fade all too fast.  Spiritual paths teach us to grow by learning to give, to be of service.  This is the maturity of one in recovery.  They are almost totally receivers in the beginning stages, but in time, if they are to deepen their recovery they have to learn to be of service.   

Baby Baptism

 I have done a lot of baby baptisms in my priesthood.  Squirming, crying babies is a great metaphor for what baptism is all about.  The baby is being taken out of its routine and whines about it, as do babies.  They want what they want when they want it.  Cold water on their body, fussing with their clothes is most inconvenient.  What a metaphor for the Christian way of life, the cross.  Baptism is seen by many as simply heavenly life insurance.  The way of the cross is buried.  Who would want baptism if they knew it was about sacrifice, overcoming your self-will, especially when it runs riot, being of service to others, selflessly, without whining?  For many, just going to a religious service once a week is way beyond their “busy” life.  It is the same in recovery.  If the newcomer knew what was needed down the road, they might just not bother to come in the door.  In recovery whining is acceptable for newcomers.  They are babies in non-addictive behavior.  The others, more mature in recovery, are of service to help the newcomer to grow up.  

Example

 Often I run into people who say that they changed churches or recovery meetings because the church or meeting did not have what they wanted.  It was not being done “the right way.”  So they find a place where everyone is pretty much like them.  So who witnesses the right way to those who are on the so called “wrong way?”  Rather than judge a group, I think, for me, I want to be of service.  So I go where people do things differently than I prefer.  By my manner and practice I am an example of a different way.  Is it uncomfortable? Yes. But then being of service is such.  For Christians, we are people of the cross, not the softer, easier way. 

Hidden Growth

You might look at a tree over a period of time, a young tree, and see that it is not growing upwards all that fast.  Why can you not see more growth?  Well, the tree is growing, but not so as you can see it.  It is growing deeper roots, more connected with other trees around it.  You cannot see this.  Eventually, with deeper roots, the tree will manifest growth and become quite robust and useful to nature.  So it is with meditation.  You and others may see nothing much for a while.  You think it is but a waste of time.  You seem to be the same ole, same ole.  But consistency in practice is the digging of roots.  In time, not your ego’s time, you will blossom and be of service to others.  All training for a goal takes patience and consistent practice.  Ask any successful runner.   

Pilgrimage

 I am too selfish and self-centered to be of much use to others unless I undertake the secret pilgrimage of interior surrender.  Surrender to what or whom?  To an energy, Power, God, who can lead me through my faults and free me from them on a daily basis.  My faults don’t go away, but they can cease to control me on a daily basis if I practice prayer and meditation.  I blog with all this advice and “wisdom” because I read, pray and meditate, not because I am so perfect.  Far from it.  The delusional me forgets my shortcomings and with that forgets my spiritual path.  Chaos develops for me and others quite quickly.  If my blogs don’t help you, they help me for which I am most grateful, as are those around me.  

Peace

 There are two kinds of peace.  There is negative peace.  This is where we don’t have war or battle with one another.  This might be us and China.  But there is also positive peace.  This is where we seek the flourishing of others that we might otherwise battle.  Christians used to kill one another over religious differences.  Now we don’t. We have negative peace.  But if we help one another to flourish then we have positive peace.  I recall a born again church community in Vero Beach, Florida who offered the use of their building for Catholic mass while the new Catholic parish was constructing its own church building.  This is active peace.  You walk into an Addiction recovery meeting and see or hear a person you don’t like, you don’t punch them in the face.  This is negative peace.  But if you go up and introduce yourself and then offer to be of some service in their recovery, that is active peace.