Wrong Fit Thinking

I am right size successful, right size famous, and right size important.  But there are days, or moments when my mind gets caught in some weird groove.  It goes like this: "I am a failure.  Everyone else is more successful and competent than me.  I don't get enough recognition for being wonderful."  So what is my solution to this crazy thinking?  A crazy solution, of course.  I do things that focus on my self-importance and popularity.  I might be doing some kindness, being generous and helpful, but my focus is on me and my self-implosion.  It is tricky stuff.  So, I try to examine my motives each day, at the moment I am doing "good" or at night before I go to bed.  "Why am I doing this?" I ask myself.  If the energy comes from a love for others, that is, I am getting out of myself, then the task or work has a certain lightness and joy about it, even if it is a bit difficult otherwise.  If the motive is all about my momentary crazy thinking, then the effort brings out a certain resentment in me or a hurrying to get it done and get onto the next "kind" act.  Be glad that you are selflessly loving all the time.  You are, aren't you?  Could there be people like me out there?  I am not alone!  Honesty sometimes makes the best of friends.  Together, we can laugh at ourselves.