A Two

I am a bit of a "Two" on the Enneagram.  What is that?  In short, I tend to freak out when I am not needed.  When I let it go, then I smile at my silliness, and am fine.  The first summer that I realized the monastery did not really need me, I was restless and irritable a lot of the time.  "They have no use for me!"  "They don't care."  "I am not important.  I am a nobody."  I got over it, but not right away.  It was a gift to have time to pursue what other things God might have in store for me at the monastery.  Whenever I think that a parish where I live has no need of me, I think about leaving and going elsewhere.  "I am leaving this parish.  They don't really need me."  Then a friend talks me into staying.  It is really about becoming enlightened, letting go of this need, that is really a band aide to some inner baggage, and seeing that a door closed and another opened.  But don't stop reading my blogs, or else.