False Happiness

Continuing with yesterday's blog on happiness, my idea of false happiness is really based upon my opinion. What if my opinion is tinged with willful self-centeredness about how things "ought" to be?  If so, why put someone else in charge of my willful desires?  Am I not trying to make them part of a messy way of life? What if your opinion is that bed-making is standard procedure? It is your norm, and you want it for everyone else in your daily life.  If a parent says to the child, "Make your bed."  "No," says the child, in willful disobedience.  If the parent says, "You make me unhappy if you don't make your bed," you have just given the child leverage to get at you when things are not turning out the way the child wants.  Your child is not in charge of your happiness.  You are dealing with their disobedience, not your happiness.  You don't negotiate disobedience by using the "happiness card."  You will have a very messy way of life if your children are in charge of your happiness.  If the parent says, "I feel bad, punishing my child," their you go again, making parenting be in charge of your happiness.  Sometimes we have to do unpleasant things with people we love.  If their happiness is based upon them getting their way, or disobeying authority, then they will be unhappy. They can pout.  Pouting is an attempt to make you be in charge of their happiness.  Family and community life is hard.  I think I will become a hermit.  Want to come along?  I make my bed each morning.