Feel Better

When I first began to ingest alcohol it was because I wanted to feel better.  I was at some social event and felt awkward, nervous, inept, not fitting in, clueless, and such.  So I had a drink to be at least doing something that others were doing.  Once in a great while when everyone was drinking a lot, I kept up, but felt lousy the next day.  Since I was an athlete on a scholarship, I stayed pretty healthy.  But after I got out of formal education and moved to a full-time corporate job in a new city, over time something changed.  I went from drinking to feel better, to drinking because I wanted to drink.  It was a gradual process, going from mostly drinking to feel better and occasionally drinking to drink, to where the drink was the focus.  I even enjoyed drinking by myself.  God seemed to have other plans for me that did not include drinking.  Why me?  I don't ask anymore.  Rather, I get up each morning and say "Thank you."  On my good days, when I remember my "Thank you," I try to be helpful to others.  It is hard to be judgmental and heartless when you have been where I was.  Now, many of you who thought I was a holy priest on your pedestal will want to dump my blog from you Facebook.  But maybe one or two will be helped.  I am really not THAT unholy!