Unfelt Passion

Sometimes I have an "unfelt passion."  It might be a restlessness, unease, sense of aloneness, or just general discontent.  Often it is an unfelt passion.  It is a feeling, so deep that my senses do not pick it up.  It can only be reached and fed by meditation, stepping back from tasks, and busyness, to get quiet with myself.  A slow walk in nature can do this too.  This "passion" is a hunger for relationship with a power or energy that is within me.  That is why I sense the idea of "being out of touch with myself" resonates with me.  I get unbalanced with a focus on accomplishments, bucket lists, the outer world of doing, but not the inner world of being, listening, quiet.  "Doing" alone will never be enough.  "Doing" with others is also not going to fulfill if I am not in touch with me.  I will just become cranky, opinionated, judgmental, and self-centered.  Who wants to work with that guy!  Therefore, when I get up in the morning, I don't ask if I "feel" like meditating or getting in touch with my inner center.  I may feel nothing of the sort, but that does not mean it is not still present, unfelt.  Make that inner focus time and relationship a priority and things will go better.  If you wait till you are hungry for the holy, the power, you may just feed on junk, which your computer can provide for hours.  But not my blog, of course.