I have heard persons in prison, who are into recovery, say that they are “free on the insides.” They mean they are free of their addictions and it lifts up their spirits. Well, I know some people who are not in prison, and glad to be free on the outsides, but they are not free on the insides. They may be feeling trapped by addictions, but there are other ways to feel bound up on the insides. How? You are uncomfortable in your own skin. You are a prisoner of your moods and tendencies to bad behavior. Something or nothing happens and you make a response that is destructive of a relationship to others and to yourself. Sometimes I have felt imprisoned by a mood or urge. I then get up and walk out the door. I go outside and literally feel a sense of freedom. I have gone outside and looked up at the stars. Or call someone. I get out of myself. I don’t want to be my own prison.
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