Promises

 Promises make the present feel better.  It takes the edge off of difficult moments.  A drunk says, "I will never drink again."  A lot of people feel better, in the moment.  As one person said, "God is suspicious of promises."  What is hidden in a promise is the inability or unwillingness to change.  So a "No" is very clear.  It is what it is.  "No" is without deception and is even  willing to put one into a bad place in a community.  I am forever making promises to God and at times to others, and then not coming through.  "I will write you a letter."  "I will call more often."  "I will clean my room, take out the garbage" and so on.  Is it not better to be honest and confront who you are and let people see the true you?  "No, I am not going to call,  write or visit."  I think it is easier to change from a "no" than from a "yes."  A no reveals me to myself eventually, and then maybe I will change.  I have to get real honest with myself before I can change.  Yes, it is embarrassing, but I have found it to work.  Back to the drunk.  Promises to stop, and then a no, I will keep drinking and leave me alone, to finally honesty.  I cannot stop.  If you are a promiser who never changes, get honest with yourself.