Hiding

 I have a disconnect between interior behavior and exterior behavior and it shows up most embarrassingly when I am at worship services.  I look good on the outside, praying with the monks or presiding at mass, but my crazy mind is all over the place with judgments and resentments and what not.  I will be listening to the words in the ritual, and have a thought, that will trigger other thoughts, that trigger scenes in my imaginings, and then suddenly I will come back into the presence of the ritual and find I missed a lot.  My body never moved, but my mind whet hither and yon.  Ever have that happen to you, driving, at work, in a room of people, at a meeting?  Are we crazy or what?  Well, at least we are physically there.  That counts for something.  And we get to exercise humility.