Maria Goretti

Maria was declared a saint in 1950 when I was in grammar school.  A big deal was made of her because she had refused to be raped in 1902 and was murdered.  She was 12 years old at the time.  She is a reminder to me each year when her feast day comes up, of "abstinence."  I don't mean abstaining just because you are waiting for Prince Charming or Miss Barbie to come along.  I mean an act of the will for the sake of love of God.  This is where our human desires can truly be a way of transformation.  With the 60s and the pill, there was a bit more of the "eat, drink and be merry."  Abstinence in the sense that I am speaking became eclipsed with this change in mores.  This makes it even more valuable because it goes against the grain, even today.  Now the clergy are supposed to abstain from sex as a vow or part of their priesthood.  Many of them just gorge themselves on food and other substitutes.  Abstinence that transforms us is where we could do something, but make an act of the will to say "NO" for no other reason than love of God.  It is not because we are trying to keep a rule or a commandment, begrudgingly.  The motive is Love.  A person could see no harm in appeasing a human desire, but then refrains or refuses, not for health, or to avoid punishment, or keep a reputation, but because they are in Love with The God of Love.  I like Chocolate.  It is no sin to eat it.  I am not a glutton for treats.  I say no to the food, simply for love of God.  There is no rule to obey such as when we fast and abstain in Lent.  I have found that the "No" that comes from an act of the will for love of God is the best "no" for me.  Plus, I don't have to buy new wide body clothes!