Love Affair

The monastery experience is a love affair with God.  Quiet, still prayer in solitude with God is making love, the experience of intimacy.  It can stay with me all day long.  God is always ready for me.  When I stop thinking about me and my miseries long enough, I can enjoy this love relationship.  I have to make room for the relationship.  It does not happen without effort and priority choosing.  I get up very early.  I give up some other things, that I count as less important.  I give time and space to God.  God is a lover, but sometimes a bit shy.  God waits.  Why do I put off this opportunity with God for some other trite choice.  Insanity?