Change

When I attend my Catholic mass, I believe the bread and wine change.  Too often that is all that changes. I receive communion, but I don't change.  Why?  I intend to change, to improve, to give up bad behavior.  I have intentions, which I mistake for will-power.  Finally, I decided that left to my own devices, I will just be mediocre at best, and many days not even that.  I have no devices to change for the better.  God does.  So I admit I am stuck.  Humility!  God help me or else I go around in circles at best.  But God will help me if I surrender.  I begin each day admitting I need help.  I enjoy Mercy, Forgiveness and Grace simply by admitting need.  I like this God I have found.  Now and again I run into someone else who is on the same path.  I am not alone in needing help.