Not Starting

A women once said that she had a bad habit, a vice.  She said that, "She had trouble not starting."  That phase caught me.  In between "starts" she would pledge to stop for good.  No good.  She would simply start up again. She wanted to distance herself, or numb herself, to her emotions, which I guess were pretty ongoing.  The problem with this solution to her emotions was that she felt even worse than before.  Her solution made her feel worse.  How to survive?  Then the light went on for her.  This is what I call Grace.  She suddenly realized that she had to learn how to live, not just how to survive.  With the help of others, she found a solution to living on a daily basis.  There are other groups, like the military, or medicine that will show you how to survive, but that is so you can "live," have a life.  Solutions to survival alone will not give you a life.  But then, this is just my experience.