Our Standards

We don't see our behavior worsening until it hits a crisis because we gradually lower our standards to meet our "new" behavior.  This is the only way to fool ourselves that we are normal, justified, correct and OK.  Take lying.  You start out with saying, "I don't tell lies."  It is wrong.  Then you get into a bit of a fix with your parents, friends, co-workers, police, and you tell then one thing when you know something else is the truth.  At first you might feel a bit uneasy.  Then you lower your standards.  "I was justified in not telling the truth."  "The consequences would be more drastic than I deserved if I did tell the truth."  "They asked for too much."  "I will lose my job."  "I won't get this position, job, raise, college of y choice."  "Everybody does it."  Then one day, you lie to your significant other, or some really important person who can punish you with the loss of something.  Your partner says, "That's it.  I am leaving you.  You are a liar."  Or, "You are fired.  You lied and cost us money and hassle with litigation."  The light comes on for you.  "How did I become a liar?"  You kept lowering your standards for one reason or another.  What used to be wrong became OK or even correct behavior.  The light comes on for all of us when our behavior spirals down faster than we can lower our standards.  It is a slippery slope.  If you are single and sleeping around, ask yourself when that became acceptable to you.  I better go and burn my diary from bachelor days.