Envy

There are times when we look to someone with admiration, and then there are times when we simply envy a person, and don't like them so much.  What makes the difference?  The difference is, "do they diminish me?"  I can admire someone who writes a novel that I really enjoyed.  But I am not going to write a novel, nor do I see m self as a novelist in waiting.  Their novel does not diminish me in my own eyes.  On the other hand, I might have certain fantasies about myself that I think are real possibilities.  When someone else accomplishes what I have not yet done, I get envious and don't like them so much.  I might even resent the person.  For instance, I might think that I should have a bigger parish to pastor than I have, and resent someone who has such a parish.  I am envious of them.  This is the envy as in one of the seven deadly sins.  I have the fantasy that I am someone who I am not, a big parish pastor.  I have since dropped that fantasy.  I am a small time blogger.  I no longer envy big parish pastors.  I was never meant to be one.  I have too many character defects for that.  Envy diminishes with discovery of truth, and maybe a little maturity.  Maureen said I was always slow.