Some of us find that working at recovering a spiritually fulfilling life is so hard that we tend to go into fantasy. Fantasy is where we are super people, doing all kinds of wonderful things, naturally, with heroic effort. We are wonderful, powerful, maybe beautiful, all without doing anything. Our behavior changes instantly, in our minds and imaginations. Such people, me included, need to be with others who can recall us to reality, not my reality, but the really real. With the support of others, a community, I find that reality is not so bad that I need to escape to fantasy. With others, I find that I am better than I think I am. Alone, I tend to think I am worse, I guess, because that is when I escape to the unreal world of super person. I am never very loving when there because I find it a bother to be helpful. It interrupts my fantasy life. Someone out there tell me that I am not abnormally crazy, but rather Normally Crazy.
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I think you are just Normally Crazy, like many of us. :)
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