Defined By Our Past

If people define you by your past, they will not be part of your efforts at change and renewal.  With some people, they cannot forgive you for your past and how it affected them.  With some people it is judgement of you that is final and etched in concrete.  And if people say, "Oh  you were not so bad," that is not too helpful either.  You were bad!  So how do we help people to keep the bad in the past and help them to a new life, if they want it?  Forgiveness is one thing we can offer.  If you won't forgive someone who in fact is changing for the better, you are not part of the solution.  What about offering hope to someone who is changing for the better.? Forgiveness and hope are too good things to offer to a person who is trying to straighten out their life.  To show that you mean what you say, to put action to words, break bread with the person.  Invite them out or over to share a meal.  A meal is a good way to allow people to speak honestly about their life, and then to remind them that the past behavior can remain in the past.  You may even get an apology.  That is almost as good as chocolate cake.  I am always a better person with chocolate!