Fred

Fred died recently.  He was a challenge for me.  At one time he was my sister Maureen's husband.  I did not quite take to him when I first met him.  But I thought marrying Maureen would be punishment enough for any shortcomings he might possess.  When I visited them as a married couple, Fred and I would drink some together and I would like him.  But then I liked most everyone when I drank.  But then he and my sister got divorced.  She had four kids to raise.  So I did not like him again.  Years past and he would come to children's weddings.  I met him at some of these events and he seemed OK.  Maybe we had mellowed.  I think he came to Maureen's funeral.  I was crying and so distraught at her dying at age 64, that I don't really remember.  But there was a wedding event after that and he was there.  I think that he had found Christ in his life, and I had come into more acceptance of him.  As I aged and saw my own shortcomings nibbling at me, I found more compassion and forgiveness for the past.  But it was work and a long process.  He got to live 14 more years than my big Sis Maureen.  It is God's world and I am not in charge though I wish she had those fourteen years.  But I don't have to make my wishes, hopes, desires, and disappointments control my attitude toward people in my life.  So I pray for Fred.  I hope someone is praying for me when my time comes.  So I had better be nice and make amends where I have been the source of chaos.