Real Love

Someone said, “For love to be real, it must cost.”  What cost?  Well, the idea of cost is that love must be empty of self.  That is the cost.  Do I really love “empty of self,” of my agenda, wants, programs for happiness?  I think that “empty of self” is a pretty high bar for me, but I try.  It gives me a focus or a standard whenever I ask myself if what I am doing is a loving act.  When I am with a friend and they are having a bad time, or in a mood, that is, they could be a bit of high maintenance, and I say, “I am out of here for now,” then I am full of self.  I have not paid the cost of love.  A parent knows this cost with a child.  So when you reflect on your behavior or staying power with someone you say you love, did you pay the cost?  Protecting oneself from ruin or harm of course means a focus on self.  Otherwise you are into codependency.  My problem is being a loving friend who pays the cost of letting go of self-focus.  When I do that, I do feel better, if not immediately, then soon thereafter.