A Signal

I hear people say that they are not addicted to something.  But I have found that this is often an excuse to injest or do that very thing!  "Oh, I am not addicted to shopping, so I  can go shopping now and not spend a lot of money on useless or self-aggrandizing stuff," is one example.  This is a pretty good signal that they are hooked on shopping but don't want to admit it.  It would make them feel powerless or weak-willed.  A person in a restaurant says to her friend who is an alcoholic in recovery, "Oh, I am not an alcoholic so I can have a drink now."  Why would you mention it at all?  Giveaway. I can say I am not addicted to vainglory, and then go and do something that puts me in the spotlight to get lots of praise and feed my blotted, damaged ego.  Usually we say such things because we want to quiet a hidden fear that just maybe we might be a little too attached to something that controls us.  Eventually, if we live long enough, don't go broke, or ruin our health, we come to accept our addiction and move on, to a better, freer life.  If I don't honestly face the reality of me each day, mediation will reveal me to myself and then the struggle is on.  If humility wins, I am the better for it.