Saturday, August 10, 2019
The Solution
I remember very early after Ordination, I was going to be the "perfect" priest, who would solve the problems of the church that eluded the mere mortal priest. In time, I came to realize I was not even the solution to my own problems. I did many good things, but my life would keep going sideways if not slipping into the abyss. Fortunately, I stumbled upon "surrender" as it applied to my situation. I must give up seeking what I want and allow God into my life to show me what is best for me. I was too self-will run riot too many times in my life. While my goal was to fix the church, my way of doing it was to seek what I want. Instead of being smart and wise, I was clueless. I thought about this last night when I attended the Bill Joel concert. It was my first time. I recognized several wonderful songs but did not know they were his. He is old and fat but can still deliver a full show plus. The place was packed, a 40,000 seat baseball stadium and many of the people were young and knew the words. I thought about all this. what kind of priest have I become? What if I am the only priest in the whole 40,000 people, and with my three girl friends! Having a wonderful time, swaying, clapping, waving my arms, singing and smiling. I was happy, as in "this is me." I don't think I am a bad priest, just an odd one, often a peg in the wrong hole. Do you ever think that of yourself, finding joy and freedom outside of stereotypes? I guess I am no poster boy for clerics. But I would be a good listener and connector for Billy Joel fans, many of whom are the young that my church cannot attract! And Billy is still going strong at 70, so I am not retiring from my misfit life. I might even be helping a lot of people I will never meet. Be you, but be sane.
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