Feeling It

Many of us think that we are supposed to feel God’s presence in order for it to be real.  So our prayer becomes one of trying to change our feelings, more a control type prayer.  But this works no better than a drink changes our feelings, or for some, many drinks. We think that feelings have to do with faith.  If I feel God’s presence then God is in fact real.  My feelings tell me so.  A drink or drug or exercise high or music or painting can work on feelings and tell you something but it may not be any more real.  “I am so happy, feel so connected, so full,” you say, and a while later, not so much.  It all stayed on the feelings level.  Faith, on the other hand, or a friendship with God, if you will, is not about feeling God.  Faith and relationship, friendship is about changing the heart, which is not all about emotions.  The heart is changed by letting go of trying to change the heart, say in prayer or relationship.  It is counter intuitive.  Let go of your agenda and trust/hope.  This is faith at work.  My love for someone grows as I let go of ego agenda and practice “being with,” compassion, listening, honesty without blame.  Selfless? Yes.  The meditation of letting go in prayer is when you take care of you.  Your friends, family, even the clerks in stores are not there to fix you or make you feel better.  If you are unhappy in an interaction and you say,” I am unhappy because you do not give me what I want” it is going to be a long and miserable day.  I drank over that!