Crossroad

I once was at a crossroad of two streets.  One was darkness and the other was despair.  I was lost and without a map.  There was no google map at that time.  The darkness confused any direction and the despair sucked my energy.  My life was in ruins.  Trying to think about anything seemed fruitless since my thinking had gotten me to this crossroad.  So I stopped thinking about me, a first.  This was a gift, to not think about me.  So now what?  Well, instead of focusing on my mind and my thoughts, jumbled and constant as they were, I had the inspiration to notice I was breathing.  I did not think about breathing.  I simple noticed it, one breath at a time.  Then came gift #2.  I noticed that there was something else of me besides my thoughts.  I was not just my thoughts.  Well what else was there?  A kind of peace and a hunger for being, enjoying that part of me that was not my thoughts.  I fell into an acceptance and comfort in this breathing calmness not focused on my thoughts  Life was not all darkness and despair and I was not only my thoughts.  I had discovered the presence of a More, and it was Me, or calling me to be this Me.  After I rested in this discovery, I did the next right thing and that is why I am here today typing out this blog one breath at a time.