Hidden Intention

 I can rather easily see what someone is doing or failing to do.  I can observe behavior, and of course then make a judgment about the behavior and the person.  What I do not notice is the intention behind the action or lack of action of the person I am observing.  So if you are thinking of taking punitive action or opening your mouth with a complaint, judgment, or accusation, you might first ask why someone acted the way that they did.  I usually say, "I notice that...I am wondering why you do that?"  They may not even have noticed whatever you say they did.  So if a child does not make their bed or brush their teeth, you might ask why, before you consider punitive action.  Motive and intention are hidden.  Only action is observed.  Sometimes people just forget.  Sometimes, it is such a long-standing habit, they do not even think about it.  This comes up when a married couple or partnership begin to live together.  For me, the better thing is just to keep my mouth shut around the monastery or in a rectory.  When intentions are revealed they can surprise me.  That, and I have given up hope in monks and priests.