Scolding

 If you don't do the right thing, mess up, in religion, work, or home, you often get scolded.  So you might change behavior for the moment out of guilt, shame or fear, but that does not change your insides at any depth.  This is merely dry spirituality.  It does not last.  What I like about recovery programs is that you don't get scolded.  If you mess up, you know it and suffer the consequences.  At some point the consequences energize you to do some inner work so that you have a deeper change, not from shame and guilt or even fear, but from an inner desire to become a better person.  I have benefitted greatly from people who have loved me until I could love myself.  Some of you blog readers have done this for me.  Thank you.