Sometimes God can seem like nothing but trouble. When? When we try to pray and get the feeling that God is not here, not present. We feel “blah.” We are trying to pray and why is God not here? This is what I call “controlling prayer.” We think we can control God like we are the puppeteer and prayer is to have God on a string. In fact God is Present, just not how you want God to be Present. So don’t make too much judgment about your prayer life. It is not a rating system. Besides, feeling better in prayer is simply your agenda. God may have other plans for you, better plans.
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I may not always "feel" God in every meditation but I am always thankful for the quiet and time to be available and open for him. I always have gratitude even when the time doesn't pass in the blink of an eye for me. I also know that I'm not alone, no matter what. Thanks for sharing your heart every day, Father Ryan! Hugs across the miles!
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