Home

When I come to San Francisco, the Paulists at the rectory say, "Welcome home." When I go to Boulder, the people at the church rectory say, "Welcome home." When I go to the Trappist Monastery each summer the monks say, "Welcome home." Each place feels like home in some way, and yet I feel at times that I have no real home here on earth. I am rooted in several places and yet in no one place. Because I do not try to hold onto any one place, I feel a certain freedom to open myself to home being in God, and ultimately beyond the grave. It does have its sadness. All letting go has its own sadness. Sadness is an emotion that comes with abandonment to God. Contemplative prayer is my way of spending some time at "home" with God.

Fr. Terry's Latest Schedule

Fr. Terry will soon be back to the Boulder/Denver area. Here is his latest schedule:

Masses:
Thurs., Feb. 5 - SHJ (14th & Mapleton) - 12:10 pm

Fri., Feb. 6 - SHJ - 7:00 am

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7 - Lyons (meets in the Methodist Church at 4th & Main) - 5:30 pm

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8 - Spirit of Christ (7400 W. 80th Ave. - just east of Wadsworth on 80th, Arvada) - 7:00 am AND 8:30 am

Mon., Feb. 9 - SHJ - 7:00 am

Tue., Feb. 10 - SHJ - 12:10 pm

Thurs., Feb. 12 - SHJ - 12:10 pm

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 - Lyons - 5:30 pm

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15 - St. John the Baptist (3rd & Collyer, Longmont) - 7:00 am AND 8:30 am

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15 - SHJ - 6:30 pm
Mon., Feb. 16 - SHJ - 12:10 pm

Wed., Feb. 18 - SHJ - 12:10 pm

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21 - Lyons - 5:30 pm

Mon., Feb. 23 - SHJ - 7:00 am

Tue., Feb. 24 - SHJ - 12:10 pm

Wed., Feb. 25 - SHJ - 12:10 pm - ASH WEDNESDAY

Thur., Feb. 26 - SHJ - 12:10 pm

SATURDAY, APRIL 11 (Vigil of EASTER) - Lyons - 5:30 pm
SUNDAY, APRIL 12 (EASTER) - St. John the Baptist (Longmont) - 7:00 am AND 8:30 am (in the school gym)

WORKSHOPS:

Saturday, Feb. 7 - SHJ in the Jr. High Library (the building that runs parallel to 13th St. Enter through the south door & go up the stairs). Treats begin at 9am; talk is 9:30-noon. Subject: Strangers To The City based on a book by Fr. Michael Casey, OCSO. The workshop will look at wisdom learned in monastic settings that can benefit lay people in their everyday world. Examples: 1) There is less focus on self-realization and more on self-transcendence. 2) A discipline in a prayer life is to help us let go of an ego-centered self-will. 3) You become more fully who you are truly made to be, through relationships with others. 4) Retirement was not for the purpose of being less busy with work, but to simplify and de-clutter our lives. 5) We are intended for union with God. A donation of $10 is suggested.

Saturday, Feb. 14 - St. Ambrose Episcopal Church, 7520 So. Boulder Rd. Subject: 11th Step Centering Prayer Workshop for WOMEN in 12-Step Programs. Treats begin at 9am; talk is 9:30-noon. This workshop will offer an opportunity to learn the method of Centering Prayer as an 11th-step meditative practice. Experience St. Therese of Lisieux, the great mystics, and the spirituality of the 11th step of a 12-step recovery program, which provides the framework for this discussion of the contemplative experience of resting in God within and beyond our limiting thoughts, images and feelings. This can transform your life so you can become freer of self-centered, fear-based motives and of desires for too much control, security and esteem. $10 suggested donation. For more information, or to reserve a seat, contact Joyce Chen at 303-859-1961, Pam Chandler at 720-234-6979 or email Joanne at Sensabama@aol.com. R.S.V.P. REQUIRED.

Saturday, March 14 - St. Francis of Assisi, 2410 Trade Centre Ave., Longmont. Lenten Day of Reflection - Subject: "Spiritual Stumblings & Surprising Grace" - Treats at 9:00; talk 9:30-noon.

Saturday, March 28 - St. Thomas Aquinas, 14th & Aurora, Boulder. Treats at 9:00; talk 9:30-noon.
Abhishiktananda, part II (part I is NOT a pre-requisite). The Indian name, Abhishiktananda, means "Bliss of the Anointed One" and is the name taken by the extraordinary French Benedictine priest, Henri Le Saux) who lived as a holy man in India and gave a vision of our Christian spiritual path through his experience in the spiritual culture of India. His book, Prayer, distills his vision of the path to union with God. The morning will include Centering Prayer. No experience necessary. Everyone is welcome. Suggested donation $10.

Conversion of St. Paul

Acts of the Apostles 22:3-16
Mark 16:15-18

Last Saturday afternoon I was in my room in San Francisco, having just completed a workshop that morning. I had no particular plans, but decided to check my email. There was a message from a young lady named Sarah, who I knew from the late 90s when I was a pastor in Knoxville, Tennessee. She now lived in California, married with a new baby. I had not seen her in years. She had obtained my email from a mutual friend. Sarah was in San Francisco at that moment, in a hospital with her new baby who needed open heart surgery. Sarah wanted the baby to receive sacraments. The baby, Arlie Mae, had not even been baptized. Sarah, though a Catholic, had not been married in the Catholic Church. The Holy Spirit was at work, to have me available in San Francisco just at the moment that I was needed for Sarah.

I said I would baptize Arlie Mae. I gathered up the oils, candle, baptism stole, ritual book, and took a streetcar to the hospital. There I baptized Arlie Mae, with Mom, Dad, and one grandmother present. Everyone was very happy and relieved. I did not ask a lot of questions, or withhold baptism to punish Sarah for not getting married in the Church. I felt that she needed to experience the Jesus whom we preach, the One who is accepting, forgiving, and loving unconditionally. Sarah needed to experience the Jesus that has changed my life. If I am to proclaim this Jesus, then I had better live, “no longer I but Christ lives in me,” as St. Paul says.

Let’s look at Paul. He was a rather nasty person to Christians. He was trying to kill them. He was against Jesus, even though he had never met Jesus. When he met Jesus on that road to Damascus, Jesus did not condemn him, though Paul was a person of very bad behavior. Jesus questioned him, and then challenged him, but a challenge that had a lot of love, forgiveness and acceptance to it. Jesus wanted Paul to be his preacher of the Good News. The Good News for Paul is that Jesus came upon this earth without our request, lived in a loving way and even died for us, without us changing one bit. God acts first with love. God is Love. Then God invites us to become this Good News. We are free to choose. There is no fire and brimstone. No one can love God out of fear.

I am not sure that my friend Sarah had ever experienced the Jesus who Paul knew and I know. Sarah had not been a faithfully worshipping Catholic, and maybe her faith was a bit cloudy, but not as cloudy as was Paul’s. In her love and need for her baby, Sarah reached out for the Church to give her comfort and support. Her daughter is now a baptized Catholic, and I think that Sarah’s life is changed for the better. I believe she is coming to know Jesus the Christ, and she will pass this on to her child.

The surgery went well and Arlie Mae has her heart all fixed. So has Sarah.

Centering Prayer Workshop for Women

How does Centering Prayer and the contemplative tradition help us in our recovery from addiction?

EXPLORE SPIRITUALITY

11th STEP CENTERING PRAYER WORKSHOP

FOR WOMEN IN 12 STEP PROGRAMS

WITH

FATHER TERRY RYAN, CSP

This is a workshop to learn centering prayer as an 11th step meditative practice open to any woman in any 12 step program. Any woman who is involved in a 12 step program and has ever started or wanted to start the practice of centering prayer will be amazed by the vision and intuitiveness of Father Ryan.

Father Terry Ryan, C.S.P., is a Paulist priest who travels throughout the United States teaching reflections of the Contemplative Experience. St. Therese of Lisieux, the great mystics, and the spirituality of the 11th step of a 12-step recovery program all provide the frameworks for Father Terry's discussions of the Contemplative Experience. The contemplative experience of resting in God within and beyond our limiting thoughts, images and feelings can transform your active life. You will become freer of self-centered, fear-based motives and of desires for too much control, security and esteem. Contemplating the inner light of God’s will, we will discover who we truly are in his divine image and likeness.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2009

9:00 AM to NOON

SAINT AMBROSE EPISCOPAL CHURCH

7520 SOUTH BOULDER ROAD

LOUISVILLE, COLORADO 80303

STAMBROSECHURCH.NET OR 303-491-3041 FOR DIRECTIONS

Coffee and treats begin at 9:00 AM. A a $10 donation is suggested and appreciated to cover costs.

For more information, or to reserve a seat contact Joyce Chen at 303-859-1961 or Pam Chandler at

720-234-6979 or by email to Sensabama@aol.com (Joanne McGuire-Baxley) Please RSVP BY FEBRUARY 1.

Spirituality Workshop in Boulder

Fr. Terry Ryan, CSP will be back in Boulder in February for a workshop!

Strangers to the City: A Spirituality Workshop

Based upon a book by Fr. Michael Casey, OCSO, this workshop will look at wisdom learned in monastic settings that would benefit lay people in the everyday world of work, family, social engagements.

“Like what,” you might ask?

1) There is less focus on self-realization and more on self-transcendence.
2) A discipline in a prayer life is to help us let go of an ego-centered self-will.
3) I become more fully who I truly am made to be, through my relationship with others.
4) Retirement was not for the purpose of being less busy with work, but to simplify and de-clutter our life.
5) We are intended for union with God.

These are just some of the issues the workshop will explore.


Saturday, February 7 9:00 AM to Noon

Sacred Heart of Jesus Junior High Library

In the school building on Mapleton, between 13th and 14th Street, Boulder

Coffee and treats begin at 9:00 AM. The workshop is free, but a $10 donation is suggested. For more information, contact Michelle Anderson at 303-442-6158 x 112.

EPIPHANY 2009

A friend of mine, Jan Kabachus, died recently from cancer. I knew Jan from the early 1980s, when we worked together in a Catholic parish in ministry to the divorced, separated and widowed. Not too long ago, Jan switched her worship community to the Ecumenical Catholic Church, not in union with Rome, called Light of Christ. The funeral service was held at that Church. As Jan was a friend of mine, I went to the funeral. It was quite a lovely service and the homily was very good. Afterwards, I enjoyed a luncheon at the church with other mourners who were friends of mine for many years. I did NOT say to myself, “Oh, these are heretics who left the Roman Catholic Church. I won’t go to the funeral. All those people will burn anyway!”

Now compare my attitude, with another tragic death. A person with a gun came into ski resort nearby, and wanted to find out if people were Christian. He was what I call a Fundamentalist Christian, one who thinks that you are lost unless you belong to their particular faith group. They don’t even believe that Catholics are Christian. Well, the gunman shoots a bullet into the air in this room of workers. This brings the manager, Brain Mahon, into the room to find out what is going on. The gunman asks Brian if he is a Christian. Brian responds, “I am a Catholic.” The gunman shot Brian dead on the spot. Brian died a martyr. He witnessed to his faith and was killed for it. Brian did not run away from the gunshot to protect himself. He went to it. Jesus did not run away from Jerusalem, even though he knew that was where he would die. After the gunman killed Brian he ran out and killed himself. Brian’s death may well have saved others from being shot in that room.

The question for us is, “What kind of Catholic are we going to be?” Will we be willing to stand up for our belief when asked, or when an appropriate time is presented to us?? If a group of people is putting down the Catholic Church, will we remain quiet so as to fit in or not cause any friction? Brian could have said, “It is none of your business,” to the killer, or “It is a private matter.” He was asked and he answered. On the other hand, will we also be open to people of other faiths, to be inviting them to share faith with us, in dialogue, or to come to learn more about the Church? This is more of the ecumenical spirit that the Catholic Church believes is Evangelization. To tell people that they will burn if they do not follow our path is really bad news and is not what Jesus is all about.

Paul the Apostle says that Christ came for Jew and Gentile. That is pretty inclusive. Paul had to deal with some Jewish Christians who felt that Gentiles were excluded. Exclusion is not part of the Catholic Church. That is why we are called “Catholic.” The Magi were not believers. They were searchers. The Shepherds were not followers of Christ. They were inquirers. When they all got to where the baby Jesus was, no one told them to go away. The Holy Family was hospitable, which is very Catholic. There are faiths that believe if you blow yourself up and kill a bunch of people who don’t follow your religious group, then you are a martyr. We don’t believe that.

Herod was kind of a sneaky fellow. To the face of the Magi he said that he wanted to go and worship the Messiah. But in fact, Herod wanted to kill him, because Herod wanted to secure his own power. I have met Christians who say nice things to my face, and then when I am not around they say something else not so nice, such as Catholics go to hell for being Catholics.

As Catholics we are supposed to pray for those who would do us harm. On the cross Jesus said, “Father, forgive them. They do not know what they are doing.” We pray for the killer of Brian. We do not judge him. It is not our place to tell God what to do, or even to say what God will do. We are not God. We are people who believe in the Catholic faith and want to share that faith with others who are inquirers and seekers. Jesus came to save us all.

Feast of the Holy Family: Continuation of the Christmas Homily, 2008

LUKE 2: 22, 39-40

Now it was time to open my presents that had all been returned to my stack by the Christmas Angel. Though I was quite young, I had already figured out that long, thin boxes usually contained clothes. I needed an Oscar winning performance to show how glad I was to receive a shirt or underwear or whatever appeared when I opened such a box. I avoided these boxes until later. I wanted toys. Toys came in square boxes, and small square boxes were often toys.

I picked up a small square box. My parents made us look at the card or gift label, to see who gave us the gift, before we opened it. Though Santa delivered all gifts, there was at times the name of a person who was responsible for the gift. I did not question all this. The card on the first square box I took said, “Terry, Love, Maureen.” It was a gift from my big sister. I wanted to put it back under the tree. But once touched, a gift most be opened. This was our Christmas protocol. What could this gift be from my mean sister? Coal? Rocks? Poison? When I opened the box, to my surprise, the gift was a toy soldier, one that I did not have. It had a big pointed lance too, the kind that my sister could step on when she came into our bedroom.

It took me years to figure out why she gave me a gift that might cause here some misery. In Colossians 3: 12-14 we are encouraged to practice kindness, gentleness, compassion and patience. My sister gave me this gift not to change me or make me less selfish, forgetful, or self-centered. She did it to change herself. She wanted to become more gentle, kind and patient. That is why we give a gift or respond in a certain way to another person. If we only act so as to change another we will live an unfulfilled life of frustration. We act to be changed. God always loves us even if God’s love does not seem to improve our behavior.

A Holy Family or a Holy Community is not one where everyone is just perfect, like me! It is filled with imperfect people, just like me. We become holy by how we respond to the other in spite of their response to us. I did not become a better little boy with my new toy soldier. But I think that Maureen was well on her way to becoming a very good big sister.

First Sunday in Advent

MARK 13: 33-37

I have become what I said I would never be: a text message person. It has replaced the greeting card that says, “Just thinking of you.” Now I don’t go into the card shop, find a card, go home, write a note, look up the address, put on a stamp, and place in the mail. Now, all I do is take out my cell phone, look up the name of the person in my cell phone address list, type in a short note on the touch screen of my cell phone, and hit the send button. Instantly, my friend gets a note, called a text message. Sometimes, I send unkind messages, such as when I know they are in their office and I am standing by the ocean shore on a nice day. I say, “I am at the ocean, enjoying the sea. Jealous?”

But most of the time, I am nicer. Yet, I don’t always care to receive a text message. When the message comes to my cell phone, the phone beeps or rings if it is on. It is usually turned on. I am usually in the midst of something I want to do and the message disturbs my focus. I say, “Who is bothering me now?” Text messages seem to invite instant attention.

I think that God will come to me like a text message. God will come when I am busy with my own agenda. If it be the end of the world, or my own personal end, I am afraid that my first response might be, “Don’t bother me now. I am busy!” This won’t bode well for afterlife happiness. I compare this response with a teenager who has fallen in love, or admires someone special to them. They might send a text message, and wait, eagerly for a response. When their cell phone rings, they instantly drop everything and look at the message with great hope. They are in love.

If I were more in love with God, and less in love with my own self-centered plans, I suspect that a sudden God-coming into my life would be met with great hope and joy. Advent is such an embarrassing time. It says, “Be alert!” Well, thank God for this season to check out my priorities.

33rd Sunday in Ordinary Time

Mt 25: 14-30
When I was growing up with my sister Maureen, she used to get an allowance of 50 cents, and I got 25 cents. She was four years older than I, and did more, so it seemed fair enough to me. Each week that I received my quarter, I put it into my plastic treasure box, which I kept under my bed. I did not lock the box, for a feared I would lose the key. One day Maureen said to me, “Terry, give me your money.” “What?” I asked. Maureen demanded, “Give me your money. You don’t do anything with your money but keep it under your bed. Jesus says it should be taken from you, and given to me.” I stood against my bed, protecting my treasure and asked, “Where does Jesus say this?” Maureen took down the bible and opened to this gospel. She read the part to me about the fellow burying his money and having it taken away.

“I don’t want to be a Catholic anymore! I complained. “ I will be a pagan and keep my money.” Maureen took my treasure box anyway. I went to my mother and complained about Maureen and Jesus. My mother said to take it up with my father. When Dad came home from work, I confronted him with my loss of money and faith. Maureen showed him the bible. My father was silent for a moment. Then he said to us, “Terry, what if, when your treasure box allowance adds up to $3.00, you take a quarter and put it into the collection basket on Sunday? That way you will be sharing your money and spreading joy to someone who needs it.” He added, “Jesus wants us to be loving, right Maureen?” Maureen gave me a nasty look, but also gave me back my treasure box.

She would check the box now and again. When I would accumulate $3.00, she would announce to the apartment, in her booming voice, “Terry has $3.00, and it is time to pay up.” I never had to worry about missing a collection basket with Maureen around. From time to time, I believe an extra 25 cents might have found its way into my treasure chest. I think it was my Dad. Anyway, I was only a pagan for one afternoon, until my Dad taught me how to be Catholic with my treasure.

22nd Sunday in Ordinary Time

Mt 16: 21-27
I had just completed a summer in a monastery, and was walking into church on Sunday morning to say mass, at peace with the world going my way, when my friend Karen stopped me in the parking lot and told me that her sister, my friend, Elaine had died suddenly two days before. Elaine was only 49 years old. I was shocked, but then the thought came to me, “Oh I don’t want to hear this.” My happiness plans for a nice day were being ruined by the unfortunate and tragic news of Elaine’s death.

I was being like Peter in the gospel. I am a Satan! Peter was a friend of Jesus, and thought that life was going pretty well for them. Jesus upset Peter’s plans by telling him about Jesus’ suffering and death, which would come all too quickly for Peter’s taste. Peter did not want to hear this news. It interfered with Peter’s plans for a nice life.

My deceased friend Elaine was a person who gave up a lot of her life to have a deeper life in service to others. She lived what Jesus talked about in the gospel. Let go of your life plan for happiness, that is so often self-centered, become a follower of Jesus in love, and you will find your real life, the one that goes on all the way through death to eternity.

Peter and I both have the right belief in Jesus. We know our catechism if you will. But the gospel says that the Son of Man will come with his angels to repay us according to what we have done and not according to what we have believed. Elaine tried to teach all her friends how to let go and let God into our lives. It is called the Way of love.

20th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Mt 15:21-28

The presenting problem is that the daughter is possessed, or “tormented by a demon.” Jesus says nothing to the mother. I understand this response. I have had mothers come to me and say that their daughter is a devil, or possessed, or some such description. I wait. I sense that there is more. I find out that the mother has diagnosed her daughter based upon the behavior of the daughter, which goes counter to what the mother wants.

I believed that Jesus sensed the real issue was the mother’s overarching need to control her child so that the child will become the image the mother wants for her. The mother tries nagging the disciples and Jesus. She probably nags her daughter too, to get what she wants. The disciples, like the daughter, get upset with this woman and wish she would go away.

Jesus is working on the mother’s issue of control. He is trying to wean her of trying to get her way. He gives an evasive answer about being sent only to the lost sheep of Israel. The mother persists, but now she is down to “Lord, help me.” She is a little less focused on her daughter. Maybe the mother is getting the sense that she is the one who needs help. Jesus wants more from her. He refers to her as a “dog” which is the term for pagan gentiles.

Now the mother lets go of all demands, and in a deep sense of humble acceptance, the doorway to Christ union and holiness, says she is a dog, and will take scraps fallen from the table of the master. She will accept whatever Jesus chooses to give her. She accepts whatever Jesus wants to call her, and whatever he wants to do for her. She is changed from the woman who tries to manipulate people and situations to get her way.

What great faith she has now. So Jesus says, “Let it be done for you as you wish.” But now she no longer wishes to change her daughter’s behavior. Her focus is now being open to the will of God, and seeing herself as not so important. And in this she has realized her true importance. She is a child of God, but had to have her ego a bit crushed by accepting the title “dog.” She is not dog.

So now the daughter seems healed at that moment of change in the mother. The daughter did not change. The mother did. Now the mother is much more accepting of people and situations. She has less need to control. Her daughter picks up on this change, and now there is more harmony between them.

We bring our presenting problems to God in prayer. God seems silent. Does God not care? Maybe the problem is in the one asking for help. Often it is we who need to change first before we try to change those around us.

17th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Mt 13:44-52

No one would buy my field that I irrigate at the monastery. It is full of rocks, lumpy, dried out in many places, and overall not very attractive. It would be an excellent place to hide a treasure. No one would be going there for any reason. Certainly no buyer would be inspecting it. A cattle rancher would not be out there with the livestock. Not much to graze on in that field. A treasure would be safe there.

Probably, the present owner of the field did not even know there was a treasure there. The wanderer just happened upon it. The gospel says that the person, out of joy, goes and sells all to buy the field. It is not out of greed. So I doubt that treasure is a pile of money. It is something that makes the discoverer joyful. The owner is probably quite happy to find anyone who would buy that field and for a good price. In that ugly expanse of field, something joyful is discovered buried right there. Someone with a messy life of addiction would be joyful to discover a recovery process or program that changed his or her life for the better. For that they might give all else.

I think of my faults, bad habits, defects of character, sins, as like a rocky field that seems to give little life. I would love to be rid of these parts of myself. But many spiritual writers say that it is important to be aware of our bad habits and sins. Why? Because that is precisely where God is hidden within us. Genesis says that the light came into the darkness and the darkness did not overcome it. The light of God has come into the darkness of myself to love me, unconditionally, in spite of my faults.

Too often people get caught up in earning God’s love, by their good behavior. But God’s love comes first. It is unearned. Maybe we will change when it sinks in that God is in the field of the worst parts or ourselves. God is the hidden treasurer. God is merciful and forgiving. Unless we know that we need mercy and forgiveness, we cannot discover, much less enjoy this treasure of God’s presence that is within us.

14th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Mt 11:25-30

I am a hydrologist, a hydraulics engineer. This sounds like a good title. It satisfies my ego. In fact, what I do here at the monastery this summer, as I did last summer, is move water. I dig ditches, haul heavy rocks and shovel dirt and mud to build and tear down dams, as I irrigate my field to provide grass for cows and horses. But I have learned a lot from my field. When I first started on it last year, the ranch monk told me that all the canals and ditches that I see are interconnected. I took it on faith. I had no experience. As I worked on and explored the field, I found the intricate connections. Over the years past, others had started and added to these ditches until much of the field could be watered. I then added on my small contribution, the latest in a long line of ditch diggers.

I find that the church is the same way. It is a series of canals of grace that are brought over the centuries to the field of the human condition. The canals are all interconnected started from the time of Jesus and his Apostles. A child takes this all on faith, and then explores for itself to learn the connections. Some canals are well traveled, such as catechism for First Holy Communion and Confirmation. But over the centuries new canals of grace are added in art, theatre, music and dance. Religion and science find ways to bring God's grace to a person. I don't so much reinvent the Church as I discover it in my own lifetime. When I try to teach someone, I am adding my own little canal of grace in the modern world in which I live.

Some people try and climb out of the canals of grace and do it on their own. Their lives become laborious and burdensome. They grow weary in search of rest. This monastery works especially in that part of the field devoted to contemplative prayer. The monastic world is connected to all other parts of the church, but devotes a lot of time to silence and solitude. It is God's meek and hmble way to draw close to us in our search. Some discover this prayer through the monastery, or maybe some other way. Some see in silence and solitude only boredom and prefer to go back to their gadgets to stay occupied and distracted.

We at the monastery believe that the field of the human condition is called union with God, a union so deep that it transforms us. The lack of this union is what makes us so weary and restless in our search to lift the burdens of our life. What is burdensome is to try and live our lives without spirit in our bodies. To take upon ourselves the discipline of solitude and silence in prayer each day, is to wear the yoke of Christ and to let Christ gently lead us to fullness of life.

Getting to Know Me

Once upon a time I was a kid in the Bronx. I used to like all things Catholic, but especially sitting quietly in Church when no one was around. I did not say much and God did not seem to say much, but I knew I was not alone. I moved to the suburbs, White Plains, went to high school there and then returned to the Bronx for Fordham College. I never lost that sense of ease whenever I was alone in church. I went into corporate business, partying, travel, living in various locations, Chicago, San Francisco, Lake Tahoe, but nothing seemed to make me feel so comfortable in my own skin as this being alone somewhere in the silence. I never left alone in those times.

I have been a Paulist priest now for over 30 years. I have discovered that this sitting is called Contemplative Prayer. All the good works I have done, the preaching, teaching, helping others, presiding at sacraments and other public events, have gone well to the extent that I take time away, with me and God, as I have come to know God.


So now I teach about this Contemplation. I give missions, workshops and retreats. I hope that I have some "stuff" to say that will help a searching person. I continue to learn. I continue to be surprised. I am not really in control of this relationship. I do try to show up each day to the meeting with God. I don't always feel the Presence, but I know that I am in the right place, and am not alone.