Progression

I hear people in addiction recovery programs say they use the "tools" of the program so that they do not drink.  I see a growth progression in this that could benefit us all.  For instance, a person uses step ten to make an apology to someone for a wrong.  The addict does this "so that I don't drink."  At this point, it is to stay away from their addiction.  In time, they will progress to where they do things, use their tools of recovery, to become better persons.  They make an apology because they are trying to grow up in every phase of their life.  They are beginning to love themselves.  Earlier, they might have done a good deed because they are tired of being miserable. It is about survival not love of self.  With time, they begin to love themselves enough to believe they have enough goodness in them to be a good person, to develop the virtuous life.  Finally, they will begin to love others such that they will apologize for something because they sense a bonding, a love, a connection of the heart with the other person.  Loneliness begins to fall away.