Stunned

 A friend of my father's came to my ordination in 1977.  He took camera pictures and some time later gave them to my parents.  They were slides and we had no slide projector.  The slides sat around in my parents' home and then they gave them to me and I buried them somewhere in my archives.  Recently, I told a friend about these slides and she said she would make them into photos.  I just received them from her in the mail.  My parents and grandmother are smiling.  The Cardinal is smiling.  My classmates are smiling.  Me?  No smile.  I think I must have been stunned or in shock at the whole event...me a priest?  I was so uncomfortable in my own skin.  And I thought I would now change the world as a priest?  I was delusional with an illusion but did not know it at the time.  I needed to change me first.  Still working on it.