By Myself

 Being by myself is not the same as being alone.  Do you “live alone” or do you “live by yourself?”  There is a difference in the answer and I can often tell it in a person who is in recovery.  To be alone, for me, is more about being separate from others, toward disconnection, a path to isolation.  So you walk into a room with other people already there and seek to sit separate from anyone?  You might ask yourself if you want to be alone or want to be by yourself.  Being by myself, I am comfortable being me.  I can be near others because I like me and can be with myself comfortably around others next to or near me.  Being by myself is not about geography or distancing.  It is about practicing a spiritual life that makes me grow in being at peace with me.  Sometimes people separate themselves because they don’t like themselves and assume others won’t either, or since they don’t like themselves, they don’t like or even trust the proximity of others.Am I alone in a monastery? No, but I am often by myself.