Drop-Out Catholic

 The key to yesterday was “no indifference.”  The recovering person was not indifferent to a drink.  They left it in the hands of “Power.”  So you are the ex-Catholic.  Long ago gave up on holy communion and church stuff.  Made no sense.  Not worth it.  Bunch of hypocrites, and so on.  One day you end up at a mass, maybe a wedding or funeral, or just with a friend or relative.  Same old stuff.  Then comes communion time.  Your aisle starts moving out to approach the altar.  Whoops!  Split decision.  You go along.  But you don’t have indifference.  In the communion line you say to your heart or mind, “None of my past training gives me anything now to believe that this is more than a wafer of bread, a sharing ceremony.  So if it more than that, God, or whoever, you are going to have to make it so to me.”  You cannot conjure up any faith.  You are empty.  Your prayer was a surrender.  You are not angry or bitter.  You reach out and receive the host.  Something happens.  Unexpected?  Well, that is how surrender goes.