Social Skills

When I was growing up, my contemporaries were learning social skills so that they could engage others in social occasions, gathering events.  I did not do that at the time.  I escaped social skill development, but found other methods, crutches, to be in the midst of a social gathering, party.  Even today, I am rather behind.  I went to a going away mid-morning event for one of our old monks who was transferring to another monastery for his health.  I had been directing people where to go to find the venue in the monastery, so when I walked into the room, the party was on with lots of conversations.  I know what I am supposed to do, but I lack the enthusiasm to mix in.  Everyone looks occupied with someone or some eating.  And of course, no one seems to notice I am in the room.  You have to talk loudly to be heard.  I go to the food trays and pick out something for a plate.  Someone asks me why I am wearing a mask.  Apparently, I am the only one.  I say hello to one or two others, a little conversation and then I am ready to go.  I stayed long enough so I don't feel guilty.  I go to my room and enjoy the quiet, the prayer, reading and being with me.  And the Presence.  I don't think I am a loser.  But I avoid a second opinion.