Understanding

 The god of one’s understanding is often the problem with a relationship to Ultimate Reality, Oneness, Presence, Power.  I find that people who reject belief, and usually with some emotional attachment to that rejection is because their understanding did not hold up.  They prayed to their god that their friend would live.  Well, the friend died.  So that god did not exist or else their friend would have lived.  Often the rejector had a god that was supposed to fix outside stuff according to the plans of the rejector.  Another reason people reject a god of their understanding is because of the person(s) or institutions that pushed belief.  They focused on the messenger and probably have a good resentment against the messenger, but rejected the message.  Rejecting a Higher Power, the person goes on trying to find happiness and fulfillment in outside stuff, and this might include booze, drugs, and all kinds of outside things and people.  When one gives up this rejection and begins to listen to believers who they admire and trust, the Higher Power will find them.