When someone new walks into your group, do you get uncomfortable because they are the newcomer or the stranger? If it is a "closed" group, you might. Open groups can be just as bad, such as in church scenes. Catholics are notorious for claiming "their personal pew space" and then getting upset when they find a newcomer who does not know better, sitting in "their" space. Recovery groups can be as bad. Someone told me to think of the new person, not as stranger but as possibly the next leader of the group or committee. I like that, especially if I am looking for a replacement! Most of my social manners and responses have to do with attitude, mine, not theirs.
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I think I'm uncomfortable because they might not honor the "me" I am in the group. I think it's like that for all tribe/pack animals, and like it or not, we are tribalists at heart. I think that has something to do with all the problems around the world. Fear of being less in the eyes of the group.
ReplyDeleteMy fear for sure - but global in impact.
I am a stranger even among my closest relationships. Even to myself. The Lord has given me confidence to not care so much what people think about me, now that I know of His love for me. If I am shy or uncomfortable, I take his hand and feel strong and a smile. I have a true friend. My church is a welcoming place.
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