Dusty Innards

When I walk into a room that is dark, no computer lights or night lights, I cannot see the furniture.  But if I stand in the dark for a while, my eyes adjust and I can make things out and not trip over them.  But I won't see the dirt on the same furniture or the floor/rug.  When morning comes, and it is light from outside I can see all the dirt.  This is a metaphor for a prayer journey.  At first, all seems so dark and obscure.  What am I doing? I don't see anything or feel anything special.  I don't know where I am going.  But as we stay in the seeming darkness, that is practice, or sit for awhile in silence, we may begin to sense/see, feel something more than darkness.  We are not so uncomfortable.  Lots of people get this far and they like it.  Eyes closed but feeling OK.  "Maybe I am becoming a spiritual giant!" the ego suggests. But if we stay with the prayer, as in a room, a light will come and it is not so beautiful a light.  It is the light that points out our shortcomings, bad habits, vices, the mess that adheres tightly to us.  Woe is me!  Now what?  For a recovering person this would be an intro to the content of step four.  For everyone it would show that we need to do some work, and to continue with the prayer is part of the work.  It keeps us in touch with the only Energy and Power that can detach us somewhat from these problematic areas so that we don't always act them out.  Eventually we can practice better behavior on our neighbor.  But keep with the meditation times.  You are your first neighbor to love.  You will find love beneath the dusty mess.