Same Old Stuff

One of the reasons I seem to hang onto some of my character defects, bad as they are, is that they give me comfort.  It is difficult to learn how to live without them.  A new way of life would be one in which love gives me comfort, both receiving and giving.  When I say that I am willing to have my defects of character removed, I am saying that I am open to love as my primary comfort, not selfishness, judgments, being the center of attention, and beating myself up to look good.  Can I exercise as a way to praise God, or must it be so that I will look good to others?  Can I be into surrender and letting go as a way of being more selfless for the sake of others without doing damage to myself? Can I be in the background and enjoy that others are in the center light?   Can I be into action that benefits others and not worry so much about what I will get out of it?  Can I accept love without having to try and earn it?  Can I find comfort in not getting my way?  Working on this one every day.