Doubt

 HOMILY NOTES

FR. TERRY RYAN, CSP

PETER WALKS ON WATER

AUGUST 11, 2020

Yesterday I dealt with the guys in the boat.  So now a look at Peter.  Maybe some of you are like him.  He has a big ego but is full of fear.  Often, people with big egos are full of fear.  They go together.  Big ego development is to hide the reality that you live a fear based life.  A smaller ego, humility, honesty, surrender of your will to God are such things that might deal with big ego.  But for Peter, those are not options.  His belief is based upon satisfying his big ego.  He is a partner with Jesus because it gets Peter want Peter wants.  He would call it faith.  

I know lots of dropout Christians who left because they did not get want they wanted.  They had faith>asked God for help>suffered loss>had doubt in God’s Power, existence, or caring> dropped out.  Doubt was the deal breaker.  The problem with Peter is that he does not know Peter.  So he has faith that he can walk on water if Jesus says so.  Why does Jesus tell this blowhard to get out of the boat?  I suspect it is to teach Peter about Peter.  

Sure enough Peter gets out of the boat and does walk on water.  Then fear takes over.  Peter now doubts and begins to sink.  He is losing his life.  “Help,” he prays and Jesus saves him from drowning.  Jesus knew that Peter was a doubter behind his faith.  Jesus asks, “Why did you doubt, oh you of little faith?”  He poses the question, not so much so that Peter will stop doubting but that Peter will see himself as he truly is, more flawed than he thought.

It could shine a light on big ego, and fear-based life, if not now, later, after he denies Jesus in the courtyard of Jesus’ trial.  

So, are you a believer now because you get what you want?