Virginity

OMG!  Mary, the mother of Jesus, may have had a bunch of children and not been a perpetual virgin.  Is that a deal breaker for Catholics? I hope not.  Jesus would have had brothers and sisters.  He was the oldest, so he had to learn a lot about giving up of his time and interests, to take care of those bratty little siblings.  That would make him even more esteemed in my mind.  And are we not talking now about the need for “replacement” births for our ethnic groups? If every woman had only one child, we would have gone extinct before I got here.  But above all this, I don’t think of my spiritual growth as connected to Mary and virginity.  What I admire and strive for is her willingness not to give up sex but to give up her own will for God’s will, even when she did not comprehend all that was going on.  She “pondered” rather than understood.  God made her an offer and she said, “OK. I am all in.”  Big time trust and surrender.  I once knew virginity, but it never made me a better person.  I am still open to knowing surrender that will make me a better person.  I am pondering.