Loser

 HOMILY NOTES

FR. TERRY RYAN, CSP

MATTHEW 16: 21-27

AUGUST 30, 2020

I came to the monastery to become a Spiritual Giant.  instead I found out that I am a loser.  I am like Peter.  Why did Jesus give Peter two keys in last week’s Gospel when he made Peter the head of the Church?  Two? Yes, whenever you see pictures of Peter with keys there are always two.  Jesus is seen giving him two.  The Pope’s insignia has two keys on it.  So why two?  Well, why do you have duplicate keys to things?  Because you will lose one at some point.  We are imperfect people.  We lose things such as keys.  Being human we will lose heath, our minds, our balance, our loved ones, and maybe a job or two, and for some addicts, even their sanity.  Jesus knew that Peter was imperfect and so he gave Peter two keys.  Peter is a “loser.”  But Peter does not know this yet.

He joined up with Jesus for the same reasons that many of us get into something or some relationship.  We think it will make us happy or solve some problem in our life.  Guys like me come to the monastery to be happy and free of difficulties, and find deep prayer that we read about.  The hardships we hear about are kind of magical.  We are tough and can handle it.  People get married, have children, get jobs, move somewhere to be happy.  Initially, it is often somewhat self-centered and Peter is self-centered.

For the first time, in today’s Gospel, Jesus says the happy times must give way to suffering and let go of this good life and good times.  But Peter is so bonded to self that he thinks his job is to protect God with the two keys of power he has been given.  Well, Jesus reminds him and his friends, that they are going to have to stop thinking along simply human terms and get with this new Way of giving up self-focused happiness.  

Jesus trusts that Peter will do this eventually, after Peter hits a bottom of denial and abandons Jesus to save his own skin.  

What will be the turnaround for Peter?  He will find, down the road, a deep inner connection with Jesus that holds Peter even when times are tough.  In meditation circles we call this “The Prayer of the Heart.”  It is deeper than words or pious thoughts, and way beyond catechism answers as to who is Jesus.  the Risen Christ came to Peter and fed his heart.  Peter could no longer just walk away.  He was held by this deep connection and well aware of it.  Eventually, Peter would take up his cross for the sake of the relationship with the Risen Christ.  This is what holds us in any relationship or decision.  We give up that life idea of happiness being all about me, and go through some tough and dark times, all because we realize we have a deep “Heart” connection with whatever or whomever we have chosen.  It can be the difference in a monk who stays a few years and then moves on, or a monk who stays the course.  So I must lose old ideas of the magic monastery, and do what? Surrender.